Halfway Through 2WW...

Halfway there! I feel like this blob image, mostly from the progesterone. It makes me so lethargic, pee a lot, and poof out like the Giant Marshmallow Man.
The first 7 days are the easiest; now I enter the most difficult 7 days, where time slows down. I've been paying such close attention to my body, that I actually wonder if I'm imagining little twinges. It's that sort of "hyper-attention" that arrives in week 2 of the 2WW.
As far as the real and imaginary symptoms:
- Starting late last night (6DPO), felt a few little twinges/cramps. Most didn't seem to be in the uterus area, but moreso near ovaries. (similar to ovulation pain). of course, this could be NOTHING, but my mind immediately raced to ectopic conclusions.
- Woke up today (7DPO) with a killer migraine. I get migraines all the time, so this isn't unusual. However, I haven't had a migraine of this magnitude for weeks. Is it some form of implantation headache? Or maybe the egg isn't implanting, and the HCG shot is leaving my body...meaning I'm not pregnant. (See, this is how I drive myself crazy in week 2)
- About 30 minutes ago, I had a mild twinge/cramp for about 10 seconds. This time it was definitely in my uterus. In fact, I just had another one... I'm trying not to read into this - as I probably get these little twinges all month long, and never noticed until now. And maybe it's from the Vicodin, who knows.

The headache is really pissing me off, since it's Memorial Day Weekend. I've been in bed all morning, and finally broke down and took a Vicodin. Took it 3 hours ago - It hasn't helped much. I really need Imitrex, but I can't take that. I'm hella nauseas right now, I'm assuming from the Vicodin.

Becks and I went out for dinner the other night. I'd had the worst day at work. Like, the kind of crappy day where ALL I wanted to was to get buzzed. I really wanted a beer. Really bad. Becks brainfarted and ordered beer at the restaurant, which was torture for me. She ordered two, in fact, since it was 2-for-1 night. It was hard to watch her drink, and I could smell the beer. Mmmm. She apologized, and gave me a foot rub later, so we're even. :)

Next Saturday we found out if we're pregnant. I really hope it's a BFP! Don't know how I'm gonna get through the next week, but we've all done it, right? ;-) For those of you with BFPs, I'd love to hear about any uterine twinges you felt, around implantation time. Any stories to share? Also, how soon did you feel any symptoms?
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Update (5 hours later): Headache still here, after vicodin and codeine. Just gonna ride it out at this point, no more pills today. I feel my body temps rising. I don't have a BBT thermometer, just a regular one. In the last few hours, it's risen from 97.6 to 98.0. Maybe, just maybe, this is part of the thermal shift? ;-)

Congrats to David Cook!

Well hot dawg, he won! I was certain Archuleta had it. I have renewed faith in American voters. If they can vote for David Cook, perhaps they'll vote for gay marriage next. ;-)

The Little TTC'er Who Could...

Day 4 into the 2WW. So far, so good. I really try not to get too worked up during this time. If I put some big calendar on the wall, and x'd out each day of the 2WW, I'd go crazy. I've restarted the progesterone, and the side effects are so annoying. I am so bloated, gassy, lethargic and in-and-out bitchy. I can't stop tooting, and my stomach is bulging out. (I already have a beer belly!) So tired, I can barely walk up the stairs to our front door.

Still, plugging along through the 2WW. I'm really hoping it happens this month. May's gotta be big! Every 10 minutes, I try to imagine where the egg is right now. I'm trying to believe it's fertilized, so now it's a matter of reaching my ute and attaching to the wall. I hope my daily Starbucks doesn't hurt my chances. I tried going without, and get bad migraines. I have no choice but to drink my tall SBUX every morning.

I've started acupunture! Today is my 3rd treatment. Hurts more than I remember. Right now I'm mostly being treated for back aches/headaches, but today I may have him do some fertility stuff.

Tonight I attempt to hit the gym. Semi light workout - maybe 40 min on the treadmill, and some very light lifting. (or should I skip lifting altogether?)

Just an observation, but...

Everyone is pregnant (or a recent mom) right now. I'm extremely happy for all of them, just wondering when it will be my turn.
Yesterday was a great example. We went to a festival in our little town. I had to keep side-stepping to avoid a barrage of strollers coming at me like F-14 fighter jets. Every woman was pushing a stroller, carrying a baby in front of her, or was super preggo.
It came to a head when we decided to get a Starbucks. When we walked in, I was almost run over by a woman pushing her baby in a stroller. I held the door open for them. We got in line, and the woman in front of us was carrying a newborn on her chest. I couldn't take it, so I found the nearest chair and sat down. When I looked up, I saw a couple sitting next to me. The man had his hand on his wife's super pregnant belly, and they were smiling at each other. Once Becky got her coffee, she looked at me and said, "I know."

We walked outside and the first thing we saw was a woman pushing twins in a stroller. Dude. Seriously. Everyone is pregnant right now but me.

Question for you...

I made it through a weekend with family! More on that later....

The good news is, we did IUI#2 yesterday morning at 10am. Becky gave me the Ovidrel shot 36 hours prior, and I could feel myself about to ovulate when we did the IUI. I think the timing was really good. (It hurt like a mofo when they put the speculum thingy in).

So here's my question, and I'm trying not to stress out. We used 1 vial, and my RE said, "The count is good, it's at 8.9Million." I thought that was fine and dandy, but when I got home, I looked up my sperm bank's policy. They say the post-thaw is guaranteed at 10MM. And many TTC websites say you really need 20MM-30MM count to have decent chances of conceiving.

Now I'm getting nervous. I just went through emotional and physical and financial hell to do IUI#2, and it sounds like our count actually sucked! Is 8.9MM enough to have a decent chance of fertilization? Should we be using 2 vials from now on? I can't believe this.

I'm calling the sperm bank tomorrow, to confirm what their guarantee is. If the vial was, indeed, too low, my RE needs to call the bank within 3 days. The problem is - the bank says they only guarantee up to 60 days once the vials have left their facility. I think I'm right at the 60 days, if not past that, already.

Please please, whoever reads this.... does anyone know if 8.9MM count is good? Has anyone gotten pregnant off that amount? Trying to figure out if we just drastically lowered our chances. I had really high hopes for this try, but now I'm struggling with keeping the faith.

Time for some Thanks, and Laughter

Thanks to all of you for the thoughtful, funny, and supportive comments to my last post. I was really worked up over that chat with my sister. I read each of your comments 4x, and laughed through some of them (Mrs. Bluemont!). :) You all saved me $$ in therapy copays. This is like the best insurance plan ever. Need therapy? Post your unhappy event, and for a $0 copay, get tremendous therapy. Even Michael Moore can't sniff at that!

My sister is still coming to stay with us this weekend. I've decided that, if she brings the topic up again, all I will say is: "Listen. My chances of getting pregnant are both small AND expensive, with each attempt. I can't afford, mentally or physically, to miss IUIs and/or eat foods that may potentially decrease my chances even further. Now shut the hell up and let's go to this wedding."

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING FUNNY! You all brought me mental therapy, now I can pay you back with some humor. Please watch these, they will crack you up.

Video #1: SNL Sketch / Kristin Wiig does Suze Orman (with lesbian references)
http://kristenwiigfan.com/ormanvid.php

Video #2: SNL Sketch / Kristin Wiig does another Suze Orman
http://tv.popcrunch.com/may-10-snl-kristen-wiig-suze-orman-show-video/

Video #3: SNL Sketch / Kristin Wiig does Michelle Dison, a lesbian reporter
http://kristenwiigfan.com/1michellevid.php

Video #4: SNL Sketch / Kristin Wiig does Jamie Lee Curtis in an Activia Commercial
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/play.shtml?mea=239693

Video #5: Stephen Colbert on Bill O'Reilly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwLqqEzT6rg

And remember kids, it's people first, then money, then things....then homemade maxi pads.

I Need to Vent

K guys, I have to vent about something. Subject = Family. *collective groan* As some of you know, I'm estranged from my dad, and my mom is Super Mormon. Yes, like a religious superhero. She is SuperMormon, ready to judge, criticize, and damn anyone to hell who's not like her. Separate post coming about what she said to me, when she found out I wanted kids. (and after verbally abusing me, thinks we are still best buddies. ugh) For now, this is a vent about my sister.

The photo in this post is my sister with her two sons. My sister and I are relatively close. Relatively meaning - we chat once a week, keep up with each other's lives, and I rarely talk about my personal life. She once told me that she doesn't agree with my lifestyle, but that she'd never bring it up again. I appreciate that coming from another SuperMormon....but I still have serious issues with people who say they "don't agree with" our lifestyle. Umm, sure, and I don't agree with left-handed people, or I don't agree with people with "brown hair." I mean seriously, WTF is that supposed to mean?

But I digress. My sister has been pretty cool with the gay thing. I can talk freely about Becky, she never shows any disgust when I talk about my personal life. She'll even ask how Becky is doing, and is very comfortable hanging out with us. In fact, she asked to stay with us this coming weekend, for my cousin's wedding.

Just when I thought things were too good to be true, the snag hit. She's really not supportive of the gay parenting stuff. Not overtly. I can talk to her about the IUI's, the meds, the appts. She really doesn't respond with any interest, though, and ends up saying "Eh, ok, well, I have to go." She just isn't interested at all, it bores her. But here, I NEED her support. I need her support and listening ear as I go through this stuff.

Vent #1: Well today, I called her. She's coming up this weekend for a wedding. Our family is having a little pre-wedding get-together hours before the wedding. I told Kelly there's a 50% chance I'll have to get my IUI before the wedding, so I may not be able to attend the pre-wedding shindig. She let out a giant "UGH!" then proceeded to say, "Well, it's pretty lame if you're going to skip a family reunion for that."
!!!!!!!!! I mean, is it just me? Or was that an ignorant, shitty thing to say? First of all, she has 2.5 kids. She KNOWS how critical timing is, and she knows I have to do IUIs. Second, she knows how important this is to me. Thirdly, how awful of her to make me feel bad for missing a stupid lunch before the wedding. She kept saying how lame I was, and that it was really stupid to skip the event for my IUI. If she had any freaking CLUE what I'm going through with testing, injections, and IUI timing, she'd appreciate that I can't just schedule an IUI any old day.

Vent #2: I joked that the family shindig was to eat deli sandwiches, so I said if I get the IUI, I can't even eat the food! Once again, she let out a huge, disapproving, ignorant grunt. She then went into a 10 minute rant about how stupid I am, how stupid it is to follow those rules. She bragged about how she's pregnant and eats deli meat, hotdogs, bleu cheese, tuna, etc every day...and her kids are fine. She said it's stupid that I won't eat salad or deli meats when pregnant. I mean, she went into a TOTAL rant. There was no point arguing, so I simply said "It's hard enough, and expensive enough, for me to get pregnant. It may be a small chance of contracting listeria, but I'm not willing to take that risk." She didn't skip a beat, and kept telling me how stupid stupid stupid it was. Internally, I got really upset. WTF difference does it make to her what I choose not to eat? She knows this is a stressful procedure, and very delicate. If anything, she should say, "Well I eat that stuff, but it's cool if you can get by not eating it." Just something simple like that.

To top it all off, she finished by saying, "Just watch..you'll never eat deli meat or bleu cheese, and your kid will still end up retarded." Wow. I don't know if there's anything more taboo (or rude) than even joking about a woman's baby being handicapped.

I was so upset. Luckily, the moment I hung up, I arrived at Becky's work to pick her up. It felt good to see someone who was nice, and actually had manners. I ranted to her for the 60 minute drive home. I'm just still so angry that my sister is so self-absorbed sometimes, and can't show a little human decency. It would never occur to her to be supportive, or at least shut her piehole.

Sorry for this giant rant. All you people whom I've never met are 1000000x more supportive than my closest family members. Does anyone have any advice on what to say to my sister when she's in town, if she brings this up again? (The IUI making me miss the lunch, or the fact that I won't eat deli meats) Lest I remind my sister, as she brags about eating tuna/deli meats/soft cheeses and how her kids are fine, that she just had a miscarriage 6 months ago. But see, I'm not like her. I have tact. I would never say something so hurtful to her. Oy veh! The world we live in! :) thanks again for enduring my rant. xxoo