Boy, am I sick

I've come down with the virus of all viruses. I'm home sick today, and plan on staying home tomorrow. Every cold symptom to the max. At first, I was nervous about doing an IUI this week, then realized maybe it's a good thing. perhaps I have those killer cells that prevent implantation, and now my low immune system will lower my killer cells. Who knows.

Today is day 4 of Men0pur, and we drop from 150iu to 75iu. My abdomen feels really swollen, and my ovaries have been aching. I joked with Becky, that my "ovaries feel like microwave popcorn!" *pop pop pop pop* Lots of kernels popping in there. :)

I'm trying to be optimistic with this cycle. Visualization, and I even downloaded a fertility meditation podcast. We're 90% decided on only doing 3 cycles with injections, before IVF.

I'm also still thinking about selective reduction. I don't know how I could end the life of my child, when their heart is beating. having said that, I also don't want to put my other children's lives at grave risk. I just don't know. I'm semi comfortable with SD if I had quads. Triplets is where I'm on the fence.

My CD7 u/s is tomorrow. We'll see how I responded to the meds. (I'm already getting EWCM, is that bad?) I started watching Baby Story again today. (I'd boycotted it after our 4th BFN). There was a scene where a woman is pushing, pushing...and then you hear her baby's first cry. I suddenly started sobbing.

I so much, and for so long, have wanted to hear OUR baby's first cry.