Today's Negative HPT is brought to you by BFN Networks...

Took at First Response HPT test this morning. With the hope of a child on Xmas day, I watched the little window, waiting for a second pink line. Nothing. The control line got super dark, as if to mock me.
Tomorrow's blood test will confirm, but it looks like I'll be DRANKIN on my Boston trip next week. (Shawn, let's get an icy cold one!) Man, two negative months in a row, and I'm already convinced I am infertile. The thought of starting a new cycle is exhausting, not to mention I think I'll be ovulating on the day we fly home from Boston. So maybe June is out for us. Is it weird that I'm considering taking progesterone a few extra days, to ward off my period? Although I'm spotting the last few days, anyway, I dont think the progesterone did anything this month. Have I been putting a sugar pill up my giner all this time?
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Update: Effing period is starting! Red showing up. I'm guessing it'll be official CD1 tomorrow. I can't believe the progesterone didn't do ANYTHING

Boston, Here We Come!

Two very exciting things are happening next week. No wait, three things! We are taking a 1.5 week vacation. We are going to Boston, which is where we met and lived for a while. And three, we are going to a RED SOX game! Someone put on the Dropkick Murphys!

Maybe now's a good time for a little lovey dovey background. Becky grew up in Minnesota, where they have weird human hamster tunnels downtown, so you never have to walk outside. I grew up in a super liberal San Francisco Bay Area, yet managed to live in a mega-conservative Mormon household. Becky went to University of Vermont, I went to University of Oregon. Becky moved to Boston 9 years ago. I moved to Boston 5 years ago. We met through a friend. A drunk friend. At a gay bar called Club Cafe, there with her soccer teammates. Becky was seeing someone, and 3 months later my drunk friend found out Becky was single, and set us up on a semi-blind date.

First date I remember well. We met at Big City to play pool. (Next to Sunset Grill, one of my fave Allston joints) I shook Becky's hand when I saw her, because I was nervous. To this day, she gives me shit for shaking her hand like a business meeting. That was September 2003, and we've been in love ever since that first interview (she calls it).

She taught me to laugh, to love, to drink coffee. She taught me that Korean food is weird, but good. She taught me how to properly shovel my car out after a storm. (Do the bare minimum, versus my style of anal retentively shoveling all the way down to the street gravel, and 2 feet on all sides of my car) She, and all Boston drivers, taught me how to use my car horn.

We left Boston in 2005, and came back to my hometown. Becky has always wanted to live here, and it took some convincing, but I agreed to come back to the Bay Area. All of our best friends are still in Boston, and we miss them dearly. We also miss our favorite haunts. And the Red Sox. And Patriots. And beer. Not so much the winter, though.

We leave next Wednesday, and will spend a few days in upstate NY for a wedding, then come back. Now! For my list of MUST DOs. Those of you in Boston feel free to send recommendations:
1) Drink Dunkin Donuts every day, pregnant or not. Sorry kid.
2) Steal a wad of Dunkin Donuts napkins. I cant help it, they are like security blankets.
3) Red Bones. the ultimate carnivorous experience.
4) Sunset Grill and Tap (mmmm, ribs. if i get a BFN, im drinking all 99 beers on tap)
5) Cuchi Cuchi (for drinks, if Im not preggo)
6) Red Sox game, plus Yawkey Way
7) Freedom Trail, because I'm now officially a tourist. And I love old cemeteries in the middle of a big city. eff yeah.
8) North End pizza. Pizzeria Regina, if we have 5 hours to wait in line.
9) Mike's Pastry Shop. I dont even like pastries, I just like their takeout boxes.
10) Concord & Lexington
11) Cambridge Common. best. salad. ever.
12) Cafe Kiraz. Best. frozen yogurt. ever. (if im not preggers)
13) Club Cafe or Toast. Gotta get my gay on.
14) John Harvard's Beer
15) Finale - orgasmic desserts

Anything I missed? How am I gonna squeeze this into a week?????

You Know You're in the TWW When....

Ok. I am officially in TWW hell. Obsessing like a mad woman, spending 10 hours a day reading the same twoweekwait.com symptom posts over and over. Truth be told, I think I had some symptoms, imagined a few, but either way - they are ALL gone now. Just mega bloating from progesterone. Everything else is gone, I feel fine. Keeping the faith for a few more days, but not as hopeful.

So during my obsession, I started tracking the things that I (and/or others) do. Here you go. :)

You Know You're in the TWW When...
1) You wake up every day hoping to see spider veins in your ta-tas.
2) You know the exact days, minutes, and seconds since you ovulated.
3) Gassy. Tooting like it's going out of style. Watch out!
4) Spend more time blogging, on fertilityfriend.com, and reading fertility/TWW websites, than you spend with your spouse and pets. oops.
5) Consider doing a HPT 2x a day from 7DPO, then realize you're crazy. Then you rethink doing it again...
6) You cousin's wedding was beautiful last weekend, but all you could think about was what stage your egg was in.
7) Pregnant women, lots of them, deliberately try to stand in your vision...so you notice them.
8) You see a pregnant man on Oprah.
9) Beer never looked so good.
10) You can somehow appear normal in business meetings, chatting with friends over dinner, seeing a movie, watching the presidential debates...when inside all you're obsessing about is your TWW.
11) You spend every night googling the same symptoms, and when the search results come up, they are already highlighted...indicating these are the exact same sites you read yesterday. But you still read them again.
12) You do fertilityfriend.com "Find charts like yours" every night.
13) Pour through archived TTC blogs, looking to see what their symptoms were right before they got a BFP.
14) Get angry at the stick figure family car decals.
15) Really. Beer never looked so good.
16) It seems like suddenly everyone is inviting you for sushi, happy hour, sandwiches, soft serve, oysters, wine tasting, and soft cheese.
17) You feel less guilty for not working out.
18) You can repeat your last 6 BBTs, but no longer remember your SS#.
19) You're afraid to poo, because you think it'll knock the egg off.
20) One day you're elated, convinced you're pregnant. The next day you just know you're not, and are inconsolable.
21) You realize how much you love your partner, and when the hormones act up, how much they annoy you.
22) Your DP does secret vodka shots in the kitchen, to deal with your swings.
23) You stare at the toilet paper after peeing, looking for the slightest suggestion of implantation spotting.
24) You wonder if every twinge is just gas, and vice versa.
25) You seem to notice more symptoms while you're reading TTC websites.
26) You've spent two months salary on OPKs and HPTs.
27) You realize how utterly useless Tylenol really is.
28) You look at the next month's calendar to make sure you'll be around for the next insemination, then worry you've jinxed yourself for being too negative.
29) You want to buy the cute onesie at the store, then worry you'll jinx yourself for being too optimistic.
30) You pray that one of your food aversions will be beer.
31) Tired as a mofo.
32) Feel like the StayPuft Marshmallow Man.
33) Actually find yourself buying Noxzema next to tweens at the drugstore.
34) Time itself slows, typically reaching cosmic holding patterns around 10DPO.
35) Porn boobs in the making.
36) The laundry machine is clearly broken; all your clothes have shrunk.
37) You feel like a big fat greasy dumpy stringy haired sweaty zitty monster at work.
38) You're constantly fondling your boobs to see if they hurt.
39) Feel like you need a leave of absence from work, during the entire TWW process.
40) Flip through the Lesbian Conception Book, and suddenly feel depressed. Basically, your only chance of getting pregnant is if you eat organic, insem'd on a full moon, go vegan, haven't been near cleaning chemicals in 5 years, are a Wiccan, eat tree bark, and your middle name is Nancy. And even then, it's still a 6%-12% chance.

My sweet, sweet girl

Becky really stepped up her game this weekend. When my migraine struck, I was seriously down for the count. The past few days, B took control over household chores, and did everything she could to help me. She made my favorite breakfast of pancakes with chocolate chips. She did the dishes, laundry, cleaned the entire house. She took the dog out for all his potty walks. She drove out and got me a gelato at 9pm, when I said I really wanted one. She took great care to make sure I was comfortable, bringing me cold rags for my head, water, etc. I couldn't have asked for a better copilot. Made me realize how much I love her, and how kind she is when she sees a loved one in need.

In more happy news, my headache is almost gone! I took more codeine today, and it just made me sick to my stomach. I've spent 48 hours laying on the sofa, dry heaving into bowls, barely able to eat, barely showered. It's finally down to a 2/10 rating, which is awesome. Becky made a yummy, healthy dinner, and I gave her a massage to say thanks.

I spent an hour reading through the twoweekwait website, trying to compare my symptoms. I go back and forth, thinking I might be preggo, then thinking definitely not. It seems like I only feel "twinges" when I'm reading those websites...so maybe it's all in my head. i did have hot flashes the last two days, and some heartburn today after eating salsa. (I don't usually get heartburn)
The part I'm most worried about is: no implantation spotting, and boobs are not sore. Just the nips (sorry, TMI), but that's from the progesterone. Please please please let me be pregnant. I can't start from scratch again...I need each week that goes by, where I deal with migraines to count for something. Six days until the bloodwork...I'm praying I'll wake up with sore, veiny boobs tomorrow. Funny, what bizarre things you're wish for during the 2WW.

Halfway Through 2WW...

Halfway there! I feel like this blob image, mostly from the progesterone. It makes me so lethargic, pee a lot, and poof out like the Giant Marshmallow Man.
The first 7 days are the easiest; now I enter the most difficult 7 days, where time slows down. I've been paying such close attention to my body, that I actually wonder if I'm imagining little twinges. It's that sort of "hyper-attention" that arrives in week 2 of the 2WW.
As far as the real and imaginary symptoms:
- Starting late last night (6DPO), felt a few little twinges/cramps. Most didn't seem to be in the uterus area, but moreso near ovaries. (similar to ovulation pain). of course, this could be NOTHING, but my mind immediately raced to ectopic conclusions.
- Woke up today (7DPO) with a killer migraine. I get migraines all the time, so this isn't unusual. However, I haven't had a migraine of this magnitude for weeks. Is it some form of implantation headache? Or maybe the egg isn't implanting, and the HCG shot is leaving my body...meaning I'm not pregnant. (See, this is how I drive myself crazy in week 2)
- About 30 minutes ago, I had a mild twinge/cramp for about 10 seconds. This time it was definitely in my uterus. In fact, I just had another one... I'm trying not to read into this - as I probably get these little twinges all month long, and never noticed until now. And maybe it's from the Vicodin, who knows.

The headache is really pissing me off, since it's Memorial Day Weekend. I've been in bed all morning, and finally broke down and took a Vicodin. Took it 3 hours ago - It hasn't helped much. I really need Imitrex, but I can't take that. I'm hella nauseas right now, I'm assuming from the Vicodin.

Becks and I went out for dinner the other night. I'd had the worst day at work. Like, the kind of crappy day where ALL I wanted to was to get buzzed. I really wanted a beer. Really bad. Becks brainfarted and ordered beer at the restaurant, which was torture for me. She ordered two, in fact, since it was 2-for-1 night. It was hard to watch her drink, and I could smell the beer. Mmmm. She apologized, and gave me a foot rub later, so we're even. :)

Next Saturday we found out if we're pregnant. I really hope it's a BFP! Don't know how I'm gonna get through the next week, but we've all done it, right? ;-) For those of you with BFPs, I'd love to hear about any uterine twinges you felt, around implantation time. Any stories to share? Also, how soon did you feel any symptoms?
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Update (5 hours later): Headache still here, after vicodin and codeine. Just gonna ride it out at this point, no more pills today. I feel my body temps rising. I don't have a BBT thermometer, just a regular one. In the last few hours, it's risen from 97.6 to 98.0. Maybe, just maybe, this is part of the thermal shift? ;-)

Congrats to David Cook!

Well hot dawg, he won! I was certain Archuleta had it. I have renewed faith in American voters. If they can vote for David Cook, perhaps they'll vote for gay marriage next. ;-)

The Little TTC'er Who Could...

Day 4 into the 2WW. So far, so good. I really try not to get too worked up during this time. If I put some big calendar on the wall, and x'd out each day of the 2WW, I'd go crazy. I've restarted the progesterone, and the side effects are so annoying. I am so bloated, gassy, lethargic and in-and-out bitchy. I can't stop tooting, and my stomach is bulging out. (I already have a beer belly!) So tired, I can barely walk up the stairs to our front door.

Still, plugging along through the 2WW. I'm really hoping it happens this month. May's gotta be big! Every 10 minutes, I try to imagine where the egg is right now. I'm trying to believe it's fertilized, so now it's a matter of reaching my ute and attaching to the wall. I hope my daily Starbucks doesn't hurt my chances. I tried going without, and get bad migraines. I have no choice but to drink my tall SBUX every morning.

I've started acupunture! Today is my 3rd treatment. Hurts more than I remember. Right now I'm mostly being treated for back aches/headaches, but today I may have him do some fertility stuff.

Tonight I attempt to hit the gym. Semi light workout - maybe 40 min on the treadmill, and some very light lifting. (or should I skip lifting altogether?)

Just an observation, but...

Everyone is pregnant (or a recent mom) right now. I'm extremely happy for all of them, just wondering when it will be my turn.
Yesterday was a great example. We went to a festival in our little town. I had to keep side-stepping to avoid a barrage of strollers coming at me like F-14 fighter jets. Every woman was pushing a stroller, carrying a baby in front of her, or was super preggo.
It came to a head when we decided to get a Starbucks. When we walked in, I was almost run over by a woman pushing her baby in a stroller. I held the door open for them. We got in line, and the woman in front of us was carrying a newborn on her chest. I couldn't take it, so I found the nearest chair and sat down. When I looked up, I saw a couple sitting next to me. The man had his hand on his wife's super pregnant belly, and they were smiling at each other. Once Becky got her coffee, she looked at me and said, "I know."

We walked outside and the first thing we saw was a woman pushing twins in a stroller. Dude. Seriously. Everyone is pregnant right now but me.

Question for you...

I made it through a weekend with family! More on that later....

The good news is, we did IUI#2 yesterday morning at 10am. Becky gave me the Ovidrel shot 36 hours prior, and I could feel myself about to ovulate when we did the IUI. I think the timing was really good. (It hurt like a mofo when they put the speculum thingy in).

So here's my question, and I'm trying not to stress out. We used 1 vial, and my RE said, "The count is good, it's at 8.9Million." I thought that was fine and dandy, but when I got home, I looked up my sperm bank's policy. They say the post-thaw is guaranteed at 10MM. And many TTC websites say you really need 20MM-30MM count to have decent chances of conceiving.

Now I'm getting nervous. I just went through emotional and physical and financial hell to do IUI#2, and it sounds like our count actually sucked! Is 8.9MM enough to have a decent chance of fertilization? Should we be using 2 vials from now on? I can't believe this.

I'm calling the sperm bank tomorrow, to confirm what their guarantee is. If the vial was, indeed, too low, my RE needs to call the bank within 3 days. The problem is - the bank says they only guarantee up to 60 days once the vials have left their facility. I think I'm right at the 60 days, if not past that, already.

Please please, whoever reads this.... does anyone know if 8.9MM count is good? Has anyone gotten pregnant off that amount? Trying to figure out if we just drastically lowered our chances. I had really high hopes for this try, but now I'm struggling with keeping the faith.

Time for some Thanks, and Laughter

Thanks to all of you for the thoughtful, funny, and supportive comments to my last post. I was really worked up over that chat with my sister. I read each of your comments 4x, and laughed through some of them (Mrs. Bluemont!). :) You all saved me $$ in therapy copays. This is like the best insurance plan ever. Need therapy? Post your unhappy event, and for a $0 copay, get tremendous therapy. Even Michael Moore can't sniff at that!

My sister is still coming to stay with us this weekend. I've decided that, if she brings the topic up again, all I will say is: "Listen. My chances of getting pregnant are both small AND expensive, with each attempt. I can't afford, mentally or physically, to miss IUIs and/or eat foods that may potentially decrease my chances even further. Now shut the hell up and let's go to this wedding."

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING FUNNY! You all brought me mental therapy, now I can pay you back with some humor. Please watch these, they will crack you up.

Video #1: SNL Sketch / Kristin Wiig does Suze Orman (with lesbian references)
http://kristenwiigfan.com/ormanvid.php

Video #2: SNL Sketch / Kristin Wiig does another Suze Orman
http://tv.popcrunch.com/may-10-snl-kristen-wiig-suze-orman-show-video/

Video #3: SNL Sketch / Kristin Wiig does Michelle Dison, a lesbian reporter
http://kristenwiigfan.com/1michellevid.php

Video #4: SNL Sketch / Kristin Wiig does Jamie Lee Curtis in an Activia Commercial
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/play.shtml?mea=239693

Video #5: Stephen Colbert on Bill O'Reilly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwLqqEzT6rg

And remember kids, it's people first, then money, then things....then homemade maxi pads.

I Need to Vent

K guys, I have to vent about something. Subject = Family. *collective groan* As some of you know, I'm estranged from my dad, and my mom is Super Mormon. Yes, like a religious superhero. She is SuperMormon, ready to judge, criticize, and damn anyone to hell who's not like her. Separate post coming about what she said to me, when she found out I wanted kids. (and after verbally abusing me, thinks we are still best buddies. ugh) For now, this is a vent about my sister.

The photo in this post is my sister with her two sons. My sister and I are relatively close. Relatively meaning - we chat once a week, keep up with each other's lives, and I rarely talk about my personal life. She once told me that she doesn't agree with my lifestyle, but that she'd never bring it up again. I appreciate that coming from another SuperMormon....but I still have serious issues with people who say they "don't agree with" our lifestyle. Umm, sure, and I don't agree with left-handed people, or I don't agree with people with "brown hair." I mean seriously, WTF is that supposed to mean?

But I digress. My sister has been pretty cool with the gay thing. I can talk freely about Becky, she never shows any disgust when I talk about my personal life. She'll even ask how Becky is doing, and is very comfortable hanging out with us. In fact, she asked to stay with us this coming weekend, for my cousin's wedding.

Just when I thought things were too good to be true, the snag hit. She's really not supportive of the gay parenting stuff. Not overtly. I can talk to her about the IUI's, the meds, the appts. She really doesn't respond with any interest, though, and ends up saying "Eh, ok, well, I have to go." She just isn't interested at all, it bores her. But here, I NEED her support. I need her support and listening ear as I go through this stuff.

Vent #1: Well today, I called her. She's coming up this weekend for a wedding. Our family is having a little pre-wedding get-together hours before the wedding. I told Kelly there's a 50% chance I'll have to get my IUI before the wedding, so I may not be able to attend the pre-wedding shindig. She let out a giant "UGH!" then proceeded to say, "Well, it's pretty lame if you're going to skip a family reunion for that."
!!!!!!!!! I mean, is it just me? Or was that an ignorant, shitty thing to say? First of all, she has 2.5 kids. She KNOWS how critical timing is, and she knows I have to do IUIs. Second, she knows how important this is to me. Thirdly, how awful of her to make me feel bad for missing a stupid lunch before the wedding. She kept saying how lame I was, and that it was really stupid to skip the event for my IUI. If she had any freaking CLUE what I'm going through with testing, injections, and IUI timing, she'd appreciate that I can't just schedule an IUI any old day.

Vent #2: I joked that the family shindig was to eat deli sandwiches, so I said if I get the IUI, I can't even eat the food! Once again, she let out a huge, disapproving, ignorant grunt. She then went into a 10 minute rant about how stupid I am, how stupid it is to follow those rules. She bragged about how she's pregnant and eats deli meat, hotdogs, bleu cheese, tuna, etc every day...and her kids are fine. She said it's stupid that I won't eat salad or deli meats when pregnant. I mean, she went into a TOTAL rant. There was no point arguing, so I simply said "It's hard enough, and expensive enough, for me to get pregnant. It may be a small chance of contracting listeria, but I'm not willing to take that risk." She didn't skip a beat, and kept telling me how stupid stupid stupid it was. Internally, I got really upset. WTF difference does it make to her what I choose not to eat? She knows this is a stressful procedure, and very delicate. If anything, she should say, "Well I eat that stuff, but it's cool if you can get by not eating it." Just something simple like that.

To top it all off, she finished by saying, "Just watch..you'll never eat deli meat or bleu cheese, and your kid will still end up retarded." Wow. I don't know if there's anything more taboo (or rude) than even joking about a woman's baby being handicapped.

I was so upset. Luckily, the moment I hung up, I arrived at Becky's work to pick her up. It felt good to see someone who was nice, and actually had manners. I ranted to her for the 60 minute drive home. I'm just still so angry that my sister is so self-absorbed sometimes, and can't show a little human decency. It would never occur to her to be supportive, or at least shut her piehole.

Sorry for this giant rant. All you people whom I've never met are 1000000x more supportive than my closest family members. Does anyone have any advice on what to say to my sister when she's in town, if she brings this up again? (The IUI making me miss the lunch, or the fact that I won't eat deli meats) Lest I remind my sister, as she brags about eating tuna/deli meats/soft cheeses and how her kids are fine, that she just had a miscarriage 6 months ago. But see, I'm not like her. I have tact. I would never say something so hurtful to her. Oy veh! The world we live in! :) thanks again for enduring my rant. xxoo

Happy Mother's Day

To all the current moms, pregnant moms, and moms-in-the-making. We had a great weekend. Took the dog to Santa Cruz Mountain Brewing, and then to the tidepools. Snap LOVED them! He ran so hard and fast, splashing in the water. The tidepools were awesome - we saw giant starfish, and all kinds of sea creatures.

We also drove up to Oakland, to meet a group of TTC (and/or pregnant) lesbians. I found the group through C.raigslist. The women were very nice, a mix of ages, some single, some partnered. It felt good to be around women going through the same stuff. After swapping stories and agreeing to meet monthly, Becks and I drove into SF. We got a yummy sushi dinner, then a beer at a brewery on the ocean.

This morning, we hiked 4.5 miles then painted all the ceilings in our condo! It took forever, and was backbreaking labor. I figured this will hopefully be my last weekend able to paint. :) The ceilings look beautiful, we got this warm white color. We've been sitting on our sofa staring at the ceilings all night.

As for TTC stuff, my period officially ended yesterday, and tomorrow I resume my fertility monitor, and charting everything under the sun. Thursday is my mid-cycle ultrasound, then I'm anticipating IUI#2 next weekend. This is the month! This has to be the month. We both feel really good about May.

Yay for May. (Here are some pics from today's painting. Snap monitored us.)

Long Weeked, Baby. Aww yeah...

I decided to take Friday off work. yay! I kid you not, I have 30 vacation days accrued at work. I never seem to take time off. Today I did. Snap (dog) and I made breakfast together: eggs from the Farmer's Market and some turkey bacon. Just watched an episode of Ace of Cakes. As far as plans for the rest of the day? A good gym workout, I'll take Snap to the park, then B is trying to get off work early today. We're going to drive down to Santa Cruz to my favorite brewery. They allow dogs, so the whole family can come. :)

Today I am not going to think about my BFN. Next week the peeing on sticks, mega-charting, and feet in stirrups start again. Today is a vacation day from TTC obsession. ha

Today's going to be a good day.

Parting of the Red Sea

Day 4 of Cycle #2, and my period is finally calming down. Those progesterone suppositories are brutal! I've never had such a heavy period in my life, nor have I ever gone through an entire box of Super tampons in 4 days.

Despite the period from hell, I've been chillin' with my girl. I've been cooking all kinds of things: chili from scratch, Irish soda bread, etc. I've decided to take Friday off work, so I can workout, paint the ceilings, and play with my dog. (I have 30 days accrued at work, ya think it's time I use some days?)

Oh, so the Aetna scandal. My HR and RE both say Aetna should be covering my doctor. Aetna's latest excuse is that my doctor, being new to the area, is not yet accredited with the county. Long story short, I said screw it, I will just make my appointments with a doctor (at my RE's office) who is in Aetna's system. There is another doctor there who we LOVE, perhaps even more than my regular RE. He's in Aetna's system, so I'm just going to wash my hands of this mess. :)

I've said this before, and I'll say it again. Everyone is pregnant right now, or has a baby. Everyone. I usually joke about how hard it is to feel like the only non-preggo one, but now it actually does hurt. I feel a little ouch each time I see another happy new mommy. My friends in Boston sent me some photos of their 1 year old, and I'm so happy for them. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a little part of me that's jealous and sad. After seeing 500 pregnant women today, I got home and found out my friend just had her baby today! I'm so excited, they tried a long time. The baby is beautiful. That actually cheered me up!

Next Thursday is my mid-cycle ultrasound. I will be doing the trigger shot this cycle, to better time the IUI. Have any of you done trigger shots? Any stories you can share? Side effects, did it hurt, did it help with timing?

Until I get that trigger shot, I fully plan to continue making the most of my BFN. Deli sandwiches, Diet Cokes, and beer.

This Space Intentionally Left Blank

Hey all,

I usually post more frequently, but I'm finding I don't have much to blog about during AF's visit.

Insurance Update:
Thanks to everyone who backed me up on this! My insurance decided not to cover my fertility claims. It's been over a week of endless phone calls. They first said my doctor is not with Aetna PPO. The clinic confirmed that yes, she is with Aetna PPO. So then Aetna said she's not in their system. My clinic said they've submitted my doctor's profile repeatedly to Aetna since last September, and they still haven't updated it. I got my HR person to put pressure on Aetna. EVERYONE agreed that Aetna was just trying to find any excuse not to cover me.

My HR person told me today that Aetna claims my doctor has not yet been accredited in this county. (Doc moved here from Boston last year). I called the clinic, and they said her accreditation paperwork was submitted...but that they always submit my claims under the clinic's tax id#, so there is NO reason they should be denying my claims.

Long story short, Aetna sucks.


Cycle #2:
I started AF yesterday. This is the period from hell. (Warning: TMI coming) I am filling up super tampons every hour, and STILL ruining my clothes, if you know what I mean. I'm using 4x more tampons per day than usual. I think it's because of the progesterone, and how it filled up my uterine lining. I swear, I am going to need a blood transfusion if this keeps up. ;) I'm still horribly bloated and 5-7lbs heavier than I was a month ago. I made a mid-cycle ultrasound appointment for next Thursday, and plan on getting the trigger shot. I'm going to make B give me the shot. We may have to get the IUI on my cousin's wedding day.


Cooking:
I've taken up baking and cooking. (Hmm, maybe why I'm gaining weight) Today I made chili from scratch, as well as Irish soda bread. They both came out delicious!


Other than that, we finished priming our ceilings, and will be painting them an off-white next weekend. Busy busy!

Hope everyone is doing well. xx

Baby Mama

Saw "Baby Mama" with our friends M & R today. In a weird way, it was refreshing. Yes, it won't win any Oscars. Yes, it won't portray the TTC experience with acute accuracy. But also - yes, it will make you laugh for 132 minutes. Not only is Tina Fey a hottie, but she also has one helluva wit. Tomorrow we have to shop for dresses. Two weddings in the next 30 days. Gawd, I hate shopping for dresses.

Not to sound smushy, but... I love you guys

What an amazing community this is! I'm awed by the outpouring of supportive comments around my first BFN. I know this sounds cheesy, but they feel like little hugs through this crazy process. Thanks to everyone who leaves comments, and thanks to all of you who simply blog. Very grateful for both.

Not much to say today. It's Day 2 of my BFN. No more progesterone pills up the vajayjay, so AF should be starting soon. In the meantime, I leave you with this photo. First beer I drank after BFN was Devout Stout, an organic beer from Santa Cruz Mountain Brewing. It's dreamy. :) The other relief I got yesterday was Brooke getting voted off American Idol. ha!

xoxos