18w6d - A peppering of stories :)

Tomorrow is 19 weeks! Lots of little tidbits to update you on. This is going to be a bullety-kinda post. :)

1. Felt Booger Move!
I felt the baby move today! I was literally sitting on the sofa, pouting over how small my belly is and how I haven't felt anything. It must have been the leftover spicy Korean food I'd just eaten. I felt a huge wave on my lower belly. I gently pressed my hand in that area, and the baby pushed back twice! It was so exciting, I let out a silent shriek of joy. :)

2. Bloody Nose
Massive bloody nose today - I guess that part of pregnancy is creeping in!

3. Headaches
Every day. Anyone else get these in the second tri?

4. Natural Killer Cells
Ok this is the one really crappy part of the week. My NK is still whopping high: 22. My IVF doc said to just stop all treatment. When I told the infusion lab this, the nurse screamed at me on the phone. "22 is VERY HIGH! You need to get treatment asap, or is this a major threat to the baby!" Since my IVF doc thinks intralipid isn't working for me, I now have to do the $4,200 (out of pocket!) Ivig treatment. I have my first one tomorrow morning. I can't effing believe this. $4,200 every few weeks....this will cost us potentially $24,000. We are debating how many we'll do, before we just leave things in God's hands, you know?

5. Stupid Mom Tricks
So I asked my mom to locate my birth certificate, and explained I am changing my last name to Becky's surname in January (when we officially register as DP!). My mom has been a total nutcase to me today, and it's getting on my nerves. She first wrote back "Why are YOU changing your name? Carrie P******* sounds so good. WHy can't you make Becky change her last name?" I calmly wrote her back and explained because I am fine changing my last name, and I have no emotional ties to it. It was my deadbeat, drug-addict, negligent father's last name. Why honor that? She continued to harrass me. "Cant you hyphenate your last names? You shouldn't give up P*******. Your work colleagues and acquaintances all know you by that name."

I know what's going on here. She doesn't see my relationship or commitment as similar to marriage. It creeps her out that I'm changing my last name. I finally wrote her back and bluntly said, "When people get married, they change their last names. I'm not going to hyphenate, either. When you and Kelly got married, you both changed your last names. Did you try to convince my sister to keep her maiden name? No. And to be honest, you've changed your last name 4 times, through all your marriages."

What's it to her? Really! BFD if my work colleagues have to get used to a new name change. Why is this any concern to my mother? She is just so weird and doesnt like any reminders that my relationship is just as good, worthy, and in many ways better than her marriage.

6. Vacation!
Tomorrow after my Ivig we leave for 1 week in SoCal. We will be family hopping, going to a cousin's wedding, but also taking time for ourselves. We have some nice days planned in San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara, LA, and Solvang. We can't wait!

Happy Thanksgiving all!

Update.....and hilariously mortifying story

Well, I didn't get a scan, but I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be. The on-call OB was my original OB, before I got pregnant. Let's just call her SMOKIN HOT OB. I mean, seriously, the lady is ridiculously hot.

Being used to belly scans/exams, let's just say I haven't shaved or trimmed "the beast down there" in oh.....4 weeks? I know, gross right. When she told me to lay back and put my feet in stirrups, my heart stopped. She gave me a finger exam. There I was, all bushy tailed in the hot bright spotlights of that room........wanting to die. I should have asked her for a razor and 5 minutes of privacy.

She said baby sounds fine, cervix totally closed, and strangely, I've lost 4lbs in the last 3 weeks! Guess I can eat more, then!

She wasn't sure where the bad cramping was coming from. She said it could be a bladder infection, and is testing me for that. She said it could also be just really effed-up uterine stretching. She agreed it's POSSIBLE there is a placental tear, but said usually you'd see bleeding with that. I guess I should have pressed for a scan at that point, but I was too busy dealing with my hairy shame. I suppose if she thought I had a decent chance of a tear, she'd scan me.

We get our anatomy scan in 2.5 weeks. Feels so far away! In the meantime, I can't help but think I AM Teen Wolf!!

18w0d - annoyed with OB

Excited we made it to week 18! Each week is a milestone.

The only thing on my mind lately... I woke up with a really bad cramp in my ute. LIke a period cramp that won't release, and it's radiating to my back. It was really intense, and it was hard to walk...nothing made it go away or even ease up. It lasted about 24 hours, and it's somewhat less intense today.

My OB is off on Mondays, but I reached the nurse for the backup OB. They won't let me get a scan. They said I don't need one. Instead, they are bringing me in to TALK to the doctor.

WTF is wrong with this practice. They are supposed to be the best in my area. I'm sorry but it's not normal to have an intense nonstop cramp for 2 days. I'm not overly worried, but I'd like to be checked to ensure nothing is wrong. Nope. They won't allow it.

Should it be this much of a struggle to get the care I need? I'm too lazy to switch practices at this point, and this is one of only a few practices that delivers at the hospital I want. The other practices aren't accepting new patients or got bad reviews. I think I'm stuck.

ON top of all this, I think I'm also getting ligament pains. For over a day now, I also have shooting pains every 20 seconds down the left side of my abdomen, as well as across the bottom of my ute. Did y'all experience that? I get them every 20 seconds, around the clock.

My OB can kiss my ass. I am going to be very firm about asking for a scan when I come in today, even though I'm sure they'll shoot me down. What's to gain, by telling a nervous pregnant women in PAIN that she can't get a scan??

17w and more drama. Sheesh

So I fainted again yesterday, at the Farmer's Market. My second time fainting, for no apparent reason. The one thing my two fainting episodes have in common? I had my intralipid infusion 1-2 days prior. I called my IVF doc.

He is really concerned, and is having me cancel my intralipid this Friday. Even tho my NK count is crazy high at 27! Sh*t. He thinks I'm developing a sensitivity to them, and continuing that treatment could be worse. Ugh. So now I have to pray to God that my high NK count doesn't end up in a fetus being destroyed.

Sucks. I'll retest again next week, and if my #s are still really high.....he MAY have me do an Ivig ($3,000!). But he may just have me stop all treatment and keep praying.

I would love if the universe could cut me a break! Well, at least we've made it to 17 weeks today, so that is something to be grateful for.

On the plus side....

My 2nd trimester blood results came back. Everything came back negative! (For Downs, skull issues, open spine, etc)

Well, at least there's some good news this week. :) Now if I can just hang onto this baby!

Comforting. Not really.

I wrote my IVF doc's nurse back and asked, "Will things be ok with my elevated Natural Killer cells? How much of a threat is this to pregnancy?"

They wrote back, "Well, with monitoring and treatment, it's POSSIBLE things will still be ok."

They sure make it sound like our kid has one foot in the grave. I do wish so much, that I could enjoy being pregnant. I am so grateful for each day, but I don't enjoy it the way I wish I could. Every few days there's some new threat to the pregnancy, and it's exhausting. Can't things just go easy for a while?

I get my first of two back to back infusions tomorrow. This is infusion #6. They said I'd probably never have to do more than 2. Little did they know my body is a piece of F-rated junk.

pissed

Pissed at my body. My IVF doc called with my Natural Killer cell results. They are now super red-alert "your baby is going to die" high. They freaked me out. They said I need to get an infusion tomorrow, and another one next week.
So off I go tomorrow to another useless infusion. My numbers never seem to go or stay low. They haven't been this high before, though.

My IVF doc said after my second infusion coming up, they may just have my OB monitor me more frequently. I said good luck with that, my OB doesnt monitor me more than once every 4-5 weeks. They said what? "We sent her that letter when we graduated her to you, saying because of IVF pregnancies you need to be monitored more."

My OB has classified me as a no risk pregnancy, despite clotting issues and IVF pregnancy. There is no way she's going to monitor me more. My IVF doc thinks I will need monitoring weekly - there's just NO way my OB will buy into that. To be honest, I don't know who is right or wrong. Is it really worth changing OBs if she wont monitor me weekly? Is that being ridiculous?

For those of you with IVF pregnancies, how often were you monitored in pregnancy?

Either way, I hate my body and I'm just sick of everything right now.

15w6d - Belly Pic!

Belly's stayed about the same size, the past few weeks. My butt and back fat have gotten bigger!

I've been researching vasa previa a lot more - I'm hearing of tons of cases of it. Women with IVF pregnancies have a 1:300 chance, versus the usual 1:2,500. It usually goes undetected, because OB's don't know much about it, and don't bother testing for it. All it takes is two simple tests: an ultrasound to determine placental placement and umbilical insertion, and a color doppler sonogram to see if there are any rogue arteries covering the cervix. If it's diagnosed, usually the baby has a 100% survival rate. If not diagnosed, the mortality rate is 50%-100%. I can't believe OB's don't routinely check for this, with IVF pregnancies!

We are going to INSIST our OB get us the scans we need, even though I know she will resist and tell me I'm being silly. This is no joke, if I am the 1:300, then it was worth everything to save the baby's life. I get my anomaly scan in 4.5 weeks, then we meet with our OB. I'll chat with her about this, and be a total b**** about it, if I have to!