I don't want to sound like a paranoid mom, but sometimes I think something's "not right" with Samantha. I'll ask her pedi about it on Monday, at her 12 month appt. In general she's a happy baby, but here are some behaviors that I've noticed:
At 1 year old:
1. She still does not respond to her name. She can be sitting 3 feet away and I'll call her name over and over and over, and 9 out of 10 times she won't respond. It's like she gets in her little world and doesn't hear me. I don't think she has a hearing problem. She can be halfway across the condo and go running for the TV if she hears "Elmo's World." She will also jump if she hears a loud noise in another room. I keep reading that not respond to one's name by 1 can be autism. ugh.
2. She HATES being held. She's always been this way. She constantly moves, she can't sit still for a nano second. Always moving, and has never liked to be held, kissed, or cuddled by us. Only on rare occasions will she let us hold and kiss her for 5 seconds. This also came up as a sign of autism. (according to Dr G00gle, that is) :)
3. Is not affectionate 90% of the time. Similar to #2, she refuses to give me a kiss. She shakes her head and will rarely give me a hug or kiss. When reading her books, she will freely kiss each picture of animals, though. I feel like she hates me.
4. She throws violent tantrums almost every 10 minutes. It's put me on edge, to where I don't know if I can be a stay at home mom. It just doesn't seem normal, the degree to which she throws tantrums. She will shake her head, throw herself backwards, flail her arms, put her hands in her mouth, scream SO LOUDLY that people have actually gathered around me in public places. I swear they thought I was beating her. She throws massive tantrums so often, and seems so moody. Again, these came up as possible signs of autism or aspergers. Of course, she could just be a normal tantrum prone 1 year old.
Have any of you experienced these things with your 1 year olds? I'm afraid to ask her pedi, because I'm afraid to hear "yes, she may be autistic." I would be so devastated. I want Sam to be a happy, functioning toddler. The things above just make me think SOMETHING is going on that isn't right. I don't know..... :(
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Weighing on my mind
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15 comments:
I'm sorry you're feeling so worried about Samantha's development. I don't have any experience of ASD but just wanted to comment that our boy was TOTALLY anti kisses and cuddles until he was nearly 2. Can't get enough of them now. Come to think of it, I don't think he ever "got" his name much before that either.
I can see why you'd be concerned, though and some of the behaviour you describe sounds hard to deal with in so many ways. I hope you can find some answers and that this is just a passing phase.
I have one nephew with Aspergers and one with full blown autism. The one with Aspergers is 18, and the one with autism is 7.
The 18 year old has been a big handful almost all his life, but I don't recall him being that way when he was 1. He seemed to be a normal, happy child at 1 and all the way until like 5 or so, when the social aspects of life really kicked in.
The 7 year old doesn't live that close by, so I only see him occasionally, and don't know what his symptoms were when he was Sam's age. Now though it seems like he is in his own little world, he barely speaks, and when he shows that he understands me, it blows my mind. He has had some major meltdowns in his life too, but he is such a loving little guy.
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with thinking Samantha might have one of these syndromes....it is definitely not an easy road. I have to say though, that it has a much higher in prevalence in males than in females.
Ask our doctor. The sooner you get an answer, the sooner you can work on it. It may be nothing!
P.S. I had to comment from my old blogger account because it wouldn't take my Wordpress one! Don't know what that's about!
That's tough. All of the things you have listed "could" be normal development. They could also mean that there is something off. Not neccesarily autism but maybe some other sensory issues.
As far as the tantrums go...that is very normal at this age when they are on the verge of verbalizing what they want.
She could just be a strong headed little girl who can't tell you to back off and give her some space :)
That's what I'll be hoping for.
Whatever happens though. You are a great mom who is very aware of her behavior and it sounds like you are ready to get help if she needs it. She will be just fine.
Keep us posted.
Sorry you guys are having such a hard time! Have you tried any sign language with Samantha? We noticed at that age it really helped Bird to breakthrough to us and minimized tantrums so much. And I agree with Vee and Jay that it can be a lot closer to age 2 that you will see more affection towards you. Bird only now offers hugs and kisses to us freely and it melts us after wanting it for so long. Some kids just aren't super snuggly.
But of course bring it up with your doctor for his/her opinion.
Good luck! Hang in there!
I don't know if this will help or not, but I've had similar worries about our 7-year old from... approximately birth. My partner has always been adamant that it's not worth looking into, and our pediatrician has never shown concern, even when I gingerly broach the subject (keeping in mind that partner doesn't want it brought up).
That said, I wish we had discussed it and done some assesments. Observing others' positive experiences with early intervention, I think we could have avoided some of the social deficits she's now struggling with. That said, with no assesment or treatment, she has indeed grown out of many of the things that worried me initially.
Hopefully you'll come across someone who can allay your fears and help you determine what (if any) action is necessary at this time.
Good luck.
Hey there...I think you have valid concerns and discussing them with your pedi might be helpful. I just wrote a post (a few posts back) about the importance of following your gut. Please feel free to email me (dosbabymamas (at) yahoo (dot)com) if you want to talk some more (I'm a pedi speech therapist and have been working in early intervention for almost 8 years). Like everyone else, hoping it's just a passing phase! Hang in there :)
AUGH. I just wrote a huge long comment, and blogger ate it. GRRR. Anyway - we have all but the last at our house, and she DOES throw plenty of tantrums, just not every ten minutes. ;-) I think it wouldn't hurt to talk to her ped or EI, but I also don't necessarily think it's something to worry too too much about. If I manage to gather the brainpower back, I'll try to come back and re-create my comment.
I have a cousin with autism who just didn't behave like a normal toddler, she was totally in her own world (and still is) and never said a word. Pretty much silent for years.
I would be worried too, but I expect she is just normal in her own way. Perhaps she daydreams and will be all creative when she is older.
I am sorry that you are having these fears, and I hope very sincerely that everything is fine for your family. However, as an early childhood special education professional, I am impressed that you are bringing up your concerns so early, and would encourage you to talk to your pediatrician, and push for a referral to someone who specializes in working with and diagnosing children with autism, if your concerns persist. Early intervention is the best tool we have in improving outcomes for children with disabilities.
On the positive side, Sam has a fabulous smile, and the lack of a social smile is an early indicator of autism - so not everything is on the "autism" side of the scale.
If your concerns continue after your move to Seattle, look into the Haring Center, and the Experimental Education Unit (EEU) at the University of Washington. They have a great program for toddlers and preschoolers with autism, and are doing wonderful research.
Bliss was a kisser from birth, Soul was not and I trained her. I would never sleep train, or even potty train just because for me I do not believe in those and like child to take their time as they need but TOTALLY kiss trained Soul. I did a huge silly dance/arm wave/song/scream/woohoo every time she kissed me and I did it every day every time and after a few weeks she became way more kissy and now she is kissy and loves to say I love you. I still ask for kisses often though because she will forget to at times.
Also both children got very tantrum-my or as I call it fussy before all developmental stages. When teeth were coming, not breaking skin but within a month, when language took leaps forward, walking to running. All milestones brought on fussy phases, they still do. Nowadays it usually alerts me to a growth spurt or some new development on it's way.
Definitely talk to your ped about all concerns because if there is a diagnosis in the the future, early intervention is powerful. I have an cousin with full blown autism and it is difficult but not the end of the world. I think a mother's
intuition is powerful (like A suggested with your gut) so voice up and be an activist for Sam, whether this is a true issue or maybe just something else. Fb me if you would like any advice/suggestions from Tiff being that she is a school pyschologist and works with this everyday. Hugs mama. Stop googling (learned that lesson real hard with my H1N1) and talk to the doc.
Also, They don't formally diagnose Autism until 2-3 but continue to voice concerns if your ped bushes you off initially.
As someone who works in Early Intervention I just had to comment. I think that people out there don't always realize what EI is about. EVERY CHILD in the US is eligible for an evaluation at NO COST. You can call and ask for one from EI. It's not a program that needs any sort of referral.
From what you describe it sounds more like some sensory issues. She could be getting more input than most people and it's just hard to handle when so little.
My 11 year old son is autistic- and what you have described is not like what I saw at all. My son did not "talk" he did not babble he was silent baby and his tantrums were always related to wanting to "say" something and when he could not, he got mad and was so out of control. He is upper middle of the spectrum, and all I can say is that my brother, a generation removed form the autism label, is a proud member of the US Navy working with Nuclear Submarine TECHNOLOGY and my son is acting exactly like him at his age. Just saying.
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