My IVF doc called today. I also tested positive for Natural Killer cells. He said I will need to do acupuncture every week starting this week through pregnancy. ($75 a week, great) I will also have to do a blood transfusion thing during the week of transfer, then every 3 weeks through the first trimester. The cost? $700 a pop. No insurance coverage.
My bills are skyrocketing for this IVF cycle. Here is what I am up against:
IVF: $11,000 (insurance will cover about $6k of it, then I am out of fertility benefits forever)
Folgard: $25/mo
Lovenox $1,000-ish a month? NO insurance coverage.
Stim Medications: $5,000
Acupuncture: $350/mo
Blood transfusion: $700/mo
All in, this IVF will cost me $19,000 if it doesn't work, and $35,000 if it does.
I'm getting beaten down, man. Bad news after bad news on my health, then financial issues. My entire body is like the Terminator to a fetus. Every possible sign of the universe is telling me I shouldn't get pregnant.
But I will still try. Just once. There is no way I could mentally, physically, financially do this ever again. I feel horribly drained from IVF, and I haven't even started it yet! I thought I would be those optimistic IVF people, and maybe I would have been. Had it not been for Natural Killer cells and some rare Terminator blood disease that makes it near impossible to carry a pregnancy.
Am I totally mad for still trying this?
Please Universe, send me something good right now. Really good.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Seriously
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
17 comments:
Oh, sweetie. I have no idea what "natural killer" cells are. I'm sending so much love your way. You sound really, really stressed. Is there anyway to push this back a month or so? (Shoot me now if this is an offensive suggestion.) Just so that you can do this (I totally support you doing this!) from a more calm, centered place? I have never achieved calm and centered myself, so don't take this as a criticism. I'm just noticing that you have been hit by a lot of news, financial and medical all of a sudden. You are not crazy to want to try this, but maybe take a deep breath and try when you are in a good (better) place, after a month of acupuncture? Ignore this completely if I am off base. xoxooxoxox
I'm so sorry that you're dealing with all these news and all this stress of finances, etc. Hopefully you can move forward with some level of peace about it all. (((HUGS)))
Damn. Don't you deserve some GOOD news for a change? I can totally understand why you want to give this one shot though and I hope THAT will bring you the best news of ALL.
Yes, universe, listen to this woman. She's worked hard (and will continue to do so) to bring this baby into her family. Help a sister out... and also no more mean surprises. Happy from here on out, got that?
unfuckingbelieveable. but, you know, i'd have to give it a try to. karma is on your side, this WILL work!
I can't believe the universe is dumping more shit on you. I'm so sorry, hon. You're not crazy to want to try and do this, but I think it would be a good idea to try and get in a good place about it first. *HUGS*
OMG Carrie, I can't believe the shit that has been dumped on you. So unfair and incredibly stressful.
You are not crazy to want to try to move forward and give it one last shot. I would feel the same way.
But, I do agree with a couple of other posters on here (and from having a few setbacks myself...) that for the chance to be really give a 100% chance, if would be better when you are less stressed about it. That's just my assvice, completely blow that off if you think I'm crazy.
Thinking of you...
no, you aren't mad for pushing ahead. wanting to give it at least one shot is completely understandable, id do the same. i hope the universe is listening and sends only good things your way from here on out.
Wow, my jaw just hit the desk at your list of costs and the news that you have yet another medical complication. Dude. I am so sorry to hear that. I am with the other commenters on taking a deep breath and a step back, and seeing what aspects of your life you can manage so that they're less stressful before you move into the stress-laden IVF process. Do everything you can to make this succeed.
Find a little peace in knowing that so many friends in cyberspace are out here pulling for you, wanting your dream to be a reality...and also feeling your pains as you keep enduring these hurdles. I am so glad you're trying the IVF, I know for me, I would always wonder "what if" if I didn't give it one shot. Whatever happens, you can know you did all that you could to achieve your goal. Take care of yourself and remember to BREATHE. Deeply. Lots of positive energy coming from Portland!!!
the universe needs to give you a freakin' break man... I'll be thinking about you...
I happened upon your blog from 2 mommies and a meatball, and old comment you made...don;t ask..i have too much time on my hands, somehow. I just wanted to say that I have a friend who had 5 miscarriages due to thrombophilia and killer cells. She had a rough pregnancy too (incompetent cervix) but she gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl about 6 weeks ago. I just met her yesterday. Worthwhile. a tough go of it...but totally worthwhile. I'm sorry it's so expensive. I really hope you can work it out and bet the baby you're so hoping for.
Good luck!
Why does everything have to be so hard?
ohhh man, this suck, carrie.
i'm in agreement with other posters...maybe give it a month to let everything settle. i know you want to go into it feeling a less stressed. and i don't think you are crazy to give it a try.
we have a lot of debt from my procedures that weren't covered that we are still paying off...but i don't regret one minute of it. and i doubt you would, either.
OMG this is amazing.... in a bad way.... wish there was an eaiser way. You are brave.. if u can do it, do it, even just for one cycle, because u dont know, and then u can never say u didnt try. Sending HEAPS of love!!
Carrie, I am so sorry that the shit keeps getting heaped on you like this. It is not fair. I have to agree with others that taking a step back and finding a place of calm may be the best thing you can do, especially since this is your one shot at IVF.
It really is time for you to catch a break. Take care, girl. xoxo
Gawdamn that's a lot to have thrown at you. I'm so sorry. I don't think you're mad to still want to do this. A month or two of acupuncture may do you a world of good (physically and mentally) though. I'm thinking of you...
Post a Comment