Some of the side effects I've noticed: itchy skin, hot flashes, dizziness, nausea, and most recently, mood changes. I went to my cousin's bridal shower yesterday. When I started driving back home, I suddenly got really sad. I think a lot of it is from the progesterone, but I was quite upset. Why? I guess I felt that I'd never have any of that. A bridal shower, a baby shower. Lots of friends and family there, all happy for me. My family "tolerates" me, but would never be giggly happy at a baby shower, and truly excited for us. Not to mention we only have 1-2 friends out here, thanks to crazy work schedules.
I know it sounds like such a silly thing to be upset about. Not having a lovely baby shower with lots of friends and family. I just always imagined that I would, you know? This is not the reality I dreamed about as a kid. I called my sister from the car, to let her know we did our first IUI. She seemed mildly interested, at best. I just got a lot of "mm hmm"s, and she agreed I shouldn't tell my mom b/c she'll pray that I miscarry.
So of course I get off the phone with my sister, and am 100x more sad. When she told me she was pregnant, I called her all the time, wrote letters to my unborn nephew...and once he was born, I flew to Maryland every 4 weeks to help her. Not a chance in h*ll I will get the same.
I promise my posts won't always be this depressing! Just wanted to get that off my chest, so I can move on. The one silver lining in all this, is that we have this amazing, supportive blogging community. People we've never met, and yet we all share in each other's joys. :)
Today we're hitting the gym - which I need to do. I've been too afraid to workout, so have gained weight recently. Thanks to anyone who made it through this entire post, and enjoy the rest of the weekend! We find out a week from Wednesday if we're preggers - yay!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Progesterone is a weird thing
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7 comments:
I'd be really sad, too. *HUGS*
I'm lucky that I (for the most part) have a super supportive family. I haven't told them yet that we're actively trying, but that's more because of my own paranoia about success and such.
So, I can't even imagine it, and am also glad for you guys that you've got this online community. *HUGS more*
I'm sorry you don't feel supported by your family. And I'm sorry the progesterone is such a double whammy. Take care.
Wow. Your mom would really want you to miscarry?? I am SO very sorry. I really do know how you feel. I've got a tough family situation too. My mom will cry (out of complete sadness) when she finds out. She thinks my lifestyle is sinning, and that I should never bring children into my "situation". I am sending love your way. It's okay to be sad sometimes too eh? You sound like such a good sister. I hope your sister and family come around. Your kids will be lucky to be raised by such a caring mommy!! Hoping we both get the showers we've always dreamed of too....what's wrong in that (wink wink!) Feel better soon :) xo
I'm sorry you don't get the love and support you deserve from your family. We would totally show up and play silly shower games with you. Name that poop-shaped candybar, how big is my ginormo belly, scrambled baby related words, the works. :)
I hear you love. I'm so sorry.
The night before we left for our wedding, I bawled my eyes out because my family wouldn't do all those things. The support, excitement, parties, etc.
But we make our families, don't we? I like to think that the people on the other sides of these blogs are part of my family. I hope you feel the same too.
Much love and hugs. ox
It's hard work, trying to have a life and make space for family who haven't caught up yet.
If there seems to be one true thing about children, though, it's that they carry a powerful ability to bridge those chasms of understanding. Nothing like a sweet little innocent grandchild to reconcile our parents to our lives. But it sucks, having to deal with that 'less than enthusiastic' response to all of our lives' milestones.
It's not the same - but WE'RE all thrilled for you.
It just sucks when people are less than interested in the important things in our lives. We've had similar experiences when we talk about our attempts. People just don't really want to hear about it--even though they're generally supportive of our desires to have kids. The lesbian TTC business is strange territory to negotiate for a lot of straight folks, but as other posters have noted, that's where this amazing blog community comes in handy. Wishing you oodles of luck, girls.
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