So I made an urgent appt with my former RE today. They did the hysteroscopy for me in November.
She took a look, and feels 50% certain it's endometriosis. She recommends semi-urgent surgery next week, so I'm waiting to find out my surgery date. She said she will be very careful to save as much ovarian tissue as possible. There is a risk that many eggs will be removed in the process, lowering my ovarian reserve.
I asked her to be straight with me about my chances of conceiving. She said if this is endometriosis, my odds are much lower even with IVF. She said it usually produces poor egg quality, which IVF cannot circumvent. She said my other issue is that I get these giant leading follicles, which we haven't been able to treat yet. She said that is VERY uncommon in someone of my age, and could pose an equally big threat to my ability to conceive through IVF.
Long story short, she said my odds of conceiving with IVF are dramatically lower now - given these two conditions. She recommends we still try one round. That will help us know if my egg quality is good. if it's not, we move to Becky.
Becky's going to be 36 next year, so her egg quality is declining fast. If worst comes to worst, we will adopt. Wondering if any of you know of adoption agencies in CA? We're ideally looking to adopt a newborn (without much mental/physical diseases - only because we don't have the proper environment to help those kids).
It's funny, you know? We're about to be faced with the "last resort" options we laughed off a year ago. I never thought I would do IVF, and I never thought I'd be told IVF may not work at all. I never thought we'd have to look to Becky for IVF, and certainly not adoption.
This has been a very ..... long 7 days. Processing a lot, and trying to recalibrate my expectations.
Monday, April 20, 2009
More bad news. Sorry.
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15 comments:
i've been such a bad commenter lately, i am just now catching up. sounds like you have had a hellish week. im sending you big hugs and lots of support.
Carrie,
You've been through so much in the past months. I'm thinking about you.
Oh my gosh Carrie, you have been through so much in a week! I wish I could give you a hug IRL, but words will have to do. I will be thinking about you and hopefully there will some good news at the end of this hell. **hugs**
Carrie, I am thinking of you so much. So much bad news, so many detours, all at once. I'm holding your hand from afar. And hoping you can find the space to take a deep breath, step back, and re-evaluate in a safe space. Sending lots of love.
*hugs tight*
The universe really needs to cut you guys a break.
Wow. So much bad news in the space of a week. I'm so so sorry.
Although I hate that your own chances may be decreasing, I'm glad that you have three viable options (your IVF cycle, Becky's body, or adoption) for bringing your baby into your family. No matter which path (or paths) you travel, know that I'll be cheering for you.
Sounds like a good thing that you went back to your last RE. Your situation seems pretty serious. But some women do get pregnant with endo using IVF so I am holding out hope for you.
"recalibrating my expectations"... what a healthy way to view all the changes you are experiencing right now.
Wow this whole process gets more complicated all the time. Hang in there 'cause we are all here rooting for you.
How stressful. I am impressed by how you are handling all of this bad news. I don't have any adoption agency leads, but my clinic has an "embryo adoption" program for people who have egg quality issues or are poor responders to the stims but can otherwise carry to term. You may have already considered that option, but I'd never heard of it before I started IVF.
Sorry things are so hard right now.
You have certainly been through it. Lots of positive vibes, support and hugs!
J
I'm so sorry you've been hit with this bad news diagnosis. It must be so hard right now to see a positive way forward - I think you're remarkable in your resilience. One way or another, you'll get the family you dream of, I'm sure. Hang in there.
ugh. this totally blows. I will be thinking about you...
*hugs* - the universe does need to cut you guys a break...
We are so very sorry to read this post. We are sending you and Becky all the best wishes we can as you sort through all these options. One way or another we know that you two will be parents one day. Hang in there sweetie.
I've been recalibrating my expectations too (nice way of putting it)... and I have to say that it is a way to renew hope in this crazy process.
Exploring all your options is key. One way or another, you'll end up just where you're supposed to be.
What a week from hell you've been through. I hope you're planning some sort of retreat for yourself (however small).
i'm so sorry you're having to face so many difficult decisions. so many hurdles. and at the same time, the really important part is to really take care of your health. these fertility issues are so f-ing hard. it's like you wrap your head around one new scenerio (like you with the IVF) and then you need to start wrapping your head around the next option "just in case". i know how hard it was for me when the doctor told me that my egg quality was too poor for IVF, i knew it was either the injectibles worked or we were on to my partner stacey's eggs (which, she is actually a few years younger than me) but it was still a lot to process. and, of course, the adoption discussion was always something we kept open. it's really a rollercoaster of your brain catching up with the "reality" of what your doctor says and your heart feeling like it's going to burst in the process of it all. you know, at the end of the day you need to be healthy, and you and your partner want to be parents. i know you will find a way. i also hope you feel the TLC that we're all sending you as you navigate these gut wrenching decisions and heartaches...i just KNOW YOU WILL GET THERE. you will be great parents and someday you will forget all about all of this crap you've been through...because you'll land where you were supposed to with a baby you adore. take care of yourself.
Oh, Carrie. This is so much to swallow. I'm sending you strength to get through this. You will have your family on the other side of this, whatever it takes. Take care, woman. xoxo
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