I've officially reached my last straw with my OB today. She is an absolute monster of a human being who provides NO support to my pregnancy, and invalidates every concern or feeling I have.
You may recall her famous lines from last week's visit. No? Let me give you a reminder. :)
1. After telling her my job is incredibly stressful to the point I go home crying, work 12 hour days, etc.
Her responses: "Just quit your job." "Well MY job is more stressful than yours, and when I get pregnant I'll work the entire time!" (PS I never asked to be taken out of work, I specifically said I just need some guidance). Lastly she told me "YOu just need to see a therapist."
2. After telling her some days at work are so stressful that I get terrible uterine cramps.
Her response: "It's just indigestion."
3. After telling her my symptoms hadn't gone away after 7 days of antibiotics.
Her response: "Well you may have another type of infection we didn't test for, but it's not worth testing."
4. After seeing I'd gained 18 pounds in 24 weeks..
"You're going to have a huge baby, and you realize you'll have to take all that weight off right?"
Well today I left a message with her nurse, explaining the bad constipation I've had. 5-6 days at a time, no bowel movement. I've taken Colace, fibersure, prune juice, etc. I asked what else might be safe to take during pregnancy, that's stronger.
The nurse spoke to my doctor and left me the following message, "Dr Neu*** said you need to meet your primary care doctor about this." *click*
So let me get this straight, I need to wait 3-4 weeks to get an appt with a PCP to ask what's safe to take during pregnancy for constipation? I left the nurse a message and said, "It's going to take too long ,and I'm out of town the next week. I simply need to know what's safe to take now."
I'm literally so upset that I'm fighting back tears at work right now. YOU WERE RIGHT! We should have switched OBs sooner. We went on a mad hunt for a new OB today. We called all the offices that had decent docs. Not a single one so far will take us. They won't take you after 22 weeks, so I missed the cutoff by 3 weeks. It's looking grim that we'll get a new OB at this point. We may be stuck with Dr. Monsterf***. This makes me so upset that I can't put it into words. After all the trauma I went through the last 2 years, she is now adding more stress to this pregnancy than I can handle.
I should have listened to you all months ago.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
You were all so right, I should have listened. :(
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13 comments:
I am sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time. I understand from firsthand experience how unpleasant and terrible some people can be. Take a deep breath, and go through your options. Your beautiful baby will be here, one way or the other. And then all of this will all be worth it.
Sending you hugs,
2 Chicks 1 Hatchling
Eeek she doesn't sound nice at all! Is this the same as midwife care in the UK? I mean we never see a doctor during pregnancy here, just nurses unless we have other issues.
You need to have someone you can trust though!
Can you file a complaint with some medical review board or some similar organization? Seriously, i thought where you guys live would have been primo for gay friendly OB's. This sounds a lot like she doesn't really want to handle your pregnancy,but can't turn you away for fear of being sued for discrimination.
Can you ask a midwife for advice on this one simple thing?
If worst comes to worst you find out what hospitals she has privileges, call the ones she doesn't, find out which of them are covered by groups that take your insurance, and deliver there instead. That is ridiculous.
Also, call around to other offices and lie your ass off. Tell them you're new to the area. Tell them you've been using a homebirth midwife but have had second thoughts. Tell them she slept with your babydaddy. Or just tell them the truth, that she's been progressively more dismissive of your comfort and safety and you wouldn't let her whelp your dog's puppies. I once got my son's care switched to another pediatrician WHILE he was in-patient and had him discharged to the new one's care Thanksgiving morning. I was that pissed. Where there's a will there's a way.
Normally I like being right, but not this time. I'm so sorry that life with your OB is getting worse and worse. MFA Mama suggested many of the things that were going through my mind--mostly that if you have to lie about your situation to get OUT of your situation, then do it.
If you don't think you can do that, find someone to act like you on the phone who can and will (I think I might know someone in NYC who would be willing to get mighty pissed off on your behalf).
There is ALWAYS a way to get things done and you do not have to take no for an answer on this one.
This is not the person you want giving you more stress and delivering your baby. You have been through too much already and deserve so much better care than this.
In the area where you live, there just has to be someone else.
I switched very late--so it can be done.
Have you tried calling a perinatologist instead of an OB?
We can talk offline if you want. xoxo
Sounds like you have some good advice as far as switching. You really deserve to be cared for by your health care provider. I'm hoping for the best for you.
Oh, crap. I don't know what your feelings are on natural childbirth or how high risk you are, but I'd definitely encourage you to look for a midwife. It is possible to switch past 20 weeks, it's just harder. Don't give up. You don't want this woman anywhere near you in labor. And for good measure, go to thebirthsurvey.com and give her a bad review. She deserves it.
Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. I second the midwife idea - we love ours, they seem way more relaxed than the OB stories we've heard. As our birth will be at a hospital J can still get an epidural if that's what she wants :-)
That is just the lousiest doctor I've ever heard of. You deserve better. Can you get a midwife? Also, there is some website where you rate doctors - let other women know about this OB!
Sorry you are so stressed, take care of yourself.
Like others, not enjoying being right. *hugs*
All I can say is keep trying. Some ladies in my due date group are even still just finding new doctors or midwives, because they didn't want to stay with theirs. It's very difficult, but it IS possible. *hugs*
Honestly, you really need to trust your judgment on this - switch doctors now. I mean, if you are getting so much pushback on the little things, how is she going to be as things get closer and/or there are serious issues to address? So far, my ob has been amazing - you don't need a midwife necessarily. You deserve to have that kind of experience after all you've gone through to get here.
I hate your doctor and I'm not even seeing her. There is NO way you should be treated like this.
Would your partner be willing to give her a peice of her mind ? I hate for you to do it, in your condition. but I do feel like she needs someone to say F*ck OFF !
I really hope that you are able to find another OB. I do know that if you call the office and the receptionist says no.....ask to speak with her nurses assistant. You can tell them the truth, give examples of the care thus far and beg. They can get you through even if the front desk says they aren't taking new clients.
(my doctor wasn't taking new clients when some friends wanted to use her....I asked her at a follow up appointment if she was full and she said to just ask for her nurse and set up an appointment)
Just keep trying. It's that important.
oh and don't give your current doctors name before you get in for your appointment. just in case they call for a referral and your asshole doctor gives them her side. which we all know is full of shit.
good luck girl.
I hate to say this but you should just lie that you are less weeks and when they do the first u/s say "Oh I must have miscounted" once you are in they can't throw you out right?
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