Mormons at my door - again! This time, it's personal

Son of a bitch, they did it again. Only this time, it was deliberate. Hear me out, I really need to vent on this one...

Ten days ago, I sent in my formal resignation from the Mormon Church. I cited Prop 8 as my reason. I've read all the "Leaving the Mormon Church" websites, so I sent in the most perfect, undisputable letter. The websites warn that sometimes, in rare cases, they get so desperate and mean - they send a Bishop to your house to prevent you from leaving. Well, guess what happened tonight.

I got home from work, and to my rejoice, I got my letter from Member Records. It says they received my request, and forwarded it to the local Bishop in my town. It said I would hear from the Bishop about my request. I assumed that meant, once it was fulfilled.

You will love this part. I was on my sofa at 7:30pm, watching "Paranormal State" - and it was about a real girl who was possessed. RIGHT at the part where they were doing the exorcism on her, I heard a loud banging on my door. I sensed evil. I thought, maybe it's kids selling candy bars, but I had a feeling they were Mormons. They knocked again, even louder.

I opened the door just a crack, and here is the conversation that ensued:

[Bishop and his cronie] "Hello, Carrie? I'm Bishop So-and-So with the Mormon Church in San Jose. We wanted to stop by, because it looks like you just got added to our church's membership today." (A clear lie! The only way they got my name/address was in my resignation letter! Fuckers.)

[Me]"Umm no, I am formally resigning my membership from the church. I sent a letter to Member Records."
[Them]"Hmmm, are you a new member?"
[Me]"No, I grew up in the church, but haven't gone in a long time. I am now wanting my name formally removed from records."
[Them]"Oh, now you dont need to leave just because you're inactive."
[Me]"No, I would like to leave."
[Them]"How about we send some home teachers over?"
[Me]"No"
[Them]"How about we send you some written materials that you can review? We'd like to keep you in the church. How about we just send those home teachers over?"
[Me]"No, I am not wanting any contact. My letter from Member Records stated the only contact I would receive is from the Bishop, and it would be the final confirmation this has been processed."

So they hemmed and hawed a bit more, and kept trying to play dumb. I was so appalled that they actually came to my house, unannounced! And to think I was so stupid, to believe they hadn't gotten my name/address from my resignation request. NO one just magically appears on a membership role there - you must be baptized, and there's paperwork.

they are so full of lies. I tried to be cordial. They agreed to see what they could do, and that they may be in contact if they need something.

Those fockers! Apparently I have one of those bad wards in my town, where they make it especially hard to leave. I better not get any more unannounced visits. I have a horrible feeling they will continue to play dumb, and not process my request.

I guess I will need to call Member Records again in a month, to see if it has been processed.

THIS CHURCH IS LIKE A CULT!!!!!!!! they make it so easy to join, and impossible to leave. I've already received warning that there are "eternal consequences" of my desired actions. The church kindly wrote me that in their letter.

They need to stay the eff away from my house.