I'm worried I'm experiencing a chemical pregnancy, and that it may be my fault. I took two Imitrex over a 24 hour period, because my headaches were so bad. That drug restricts blood flow, which could be a problem for implantation.
Then yesterday, my coworkers took me out for a bday lunch. I had a salad with bacon, goat cheese, chicken... I saved half of it, and STUPIDLY let it sit out for 5 hours on my desk, then I finished it. Um, can we say bacteria???
Well, when we go to my birthday dinner, I experienced INTENSE AF cramps on the right side of my ute. I mean, these were bad bad bad. I could barely eat, or speak. I was even a little nauseas.
I think I may have accidentally ended my first pregnancy. :( Until that time I'd had (possible) implantation spotting, and I coudl smell EVERYTHING in the restaurant. I smelled this lady's one scallop on her plate from 10 feet away.
Well, the cramps went away finally, and we went back to the hotel room. In the last 12 hours, I've found two tiny blood clots in the toilet after I go to the bathroom. No blood on the toilet paper, but definite tiny clots in the toilet.
This really can't be good, can it. Did I, out of stupidity and carelessness, end my own pregnancy??? I've waited 9 months to get pregnant, and I just f*cking blew it for myself.
has anyone else experienced chemical pregnancies/really early m/c? I'd love to hear your stories. How unfortunate that this all went down on my birthday, eh?
Now I just want this cycle to be over. Even if I get a positive blood test on Tuesday, I will not be excited. I'll be convinced it's falling HCG levels, and that soon it'll be 0.
Epic failure on my part.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Chemical Pregnancy, I think
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6 comments:
If it was/is a chemical, it certainly isn't your fault... NO WAY!!!
I am still hoping for you!!
PS People eat way worse things than Imitrex (sp) and bacon salads and get and stay pregant ALL THE TIME!!!!!!
PPS At the beginning of my pregnancy I had HORRIBLE cramps... my fingers are crossed!
My partner and I had a chemical pregnancy with our first m/c in June. We only knew for 10 days and that was after we gave in and tested on day 12. When never had our hcg levels with that pregnancy.
It was very hard to endure, but there is not fault to be had. Chromo abnormalities is the leading cause of early m/c. We waited 2 months before trying again. Our levels dropped very quickly. We were back to "0" within 1 day of spotting. And yes, we did see the clot in the toilet.
Hang in there!
I don't think you should blame yourself - you don't know that you had a chemical and even if you did you don't know that you were the cause.
Think of the women shooting heroin and smoking crack... yet still have successful pregnancies.
This process is so hard, please don't take stuff like this out on yourself!
I'm sorry things are looking like they haven't worked out this time. Even if it is a chemical, rest assured it was nothing you did that caused this - anything you ingest for the first few weeks doesn't pass to the developing embryo anyway, not until the placenta is formed and that takes a while. It was not your fault. And welcome to the Dangerous Eating Club!
Oh - that was me, sorry.
:hugs:
If it was a chemical, it was NOT your fault. So little, so early on, really doesn't have an effect, I promise. I know that it's so, so easy to overanalyze everything we do, and to place so much weight and blame, but there's no reason to, when evidence shows that it's not [your] fault, and blaming [yourself] only makes things harder.
(obv. [you] = whomever. myself included.)
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