Go on and say it. I am a spaz. :) We met with the high-risk clinic today for a consultation. The doctor was SO rude, and had horrible bedside manner. More on that later. He agreed to do a quick scan, bless his heart.
Baby was wiggling around, moving quite a bit. It even appeared to scratch its ass during the scan, so we MUST be having a boy. :)
The doctor looked at my clotting issues, and said I don't need to be on Lov3nox. Everyone I KNOW with these issues is on injections, yet he was casually waving off every treatment I'm getting. So in 3 weeks I'm supposed to stop. I get that he's high risk, but what makes him a thrombophilia expert? I am worried that if I stop injections, we could suffer a loss like so many others have with these issues.
He finally said, "You're costing ME money by staying on this." HUH? I asked what he meant. He asked if I had Aetna. NO, I have C1gna. He then said, "Oh, well I guess you're not costing ME money...but you're making all the Cigna subscribers pay for this."
Sorry but I dont give a flying EFF. I'm on B's insurance, so we pay $200 a month because it's a taxable benefit. We get screwed by the govt for being gay. And sorry, but I don't care if other Cigna subscribers are paying for my injections. I'm paying for their Vi@gra! And substance abuse programs. If I can pay for some guy to get a boner, he can help me pay for blood thinners.
So I feel weird about stopping my blood thinners. I've clinged to them like a lifeline. But I may have to let go.
The last thing he did that I found offensive. When he came in the room and say down, he looked at me funny and rudely asked, "So what.....are you GAY?" (He emphasized the gay) I didn't say anything. There are more polite ways of asking someone about their lifestyle. HE then goes "Or a LESBIAN?" Gee I dunno doc, take a wild guess!!! He then says, "I don't know what to call you people these days." Wow. Charming guy.
He threw in some God-talk, so I could tell he probably wasn't the most gay friendly guy around,.
SO I'm bummed that I won't get monthly growth scans now. Just the 20 week one. And I will be nervous about stopping my injections. But his one saving grace today was doing that scan - and the peace of mind knowing peanut is ok. And probably a boy. LOL.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
13w3d - Baby is fine. High risk doc? Not so much.
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22 comments:
OK is it 10w3d or 13w3d because the title of this post confuses me.
I am so glad the scan was good. The thing about stillness is it happens. At 41 weeks with Soul, I kid you not, I suddenly felt completely NOT pregnant, I could walk down stairs without an waddle, no pain, no nothing. I was absolutely freaked but talked myself down. The truth is even in a loss you feel symptoms after the baby has passed, so you cannot rely on the no feelings anyways. I feel terrific about your pregnancy though.
I do, however, think you absolutely MUST get a new doc. This is YOUR baby, YOUR pregnancy and you have a right to protect it as you see fit. I lost one baby to low progesterone and demanded supplements ever after that. I had a few docs over the years who wanted me off it so I ordered it through Mexico (legally) and stocked up on my own. There are ways around it. You could easily switch to Heparin, which is a tenth the cost. I was on that my entire pregnancy and I didn't even have clotting issues but my doc new I felt better on it. You need to have support from your doc, not attitude. I would also report his discriminatory attitude to his hospital and to the doctors board. It is not ok.
You have got to be proactive now for what you want and need, especially if you want to have a positive birth experience.
Thanks for catching my booboo, bleu! I just fixed the blog to say 13w3d.
Luckily this guy is not our regular OB. Our normal OB is great. This was more of a one-time consultation. I don't think we'll be seeing that dbag again. :)
what a douchebag!
I would be very offended, and my parter, K, would have walked out. He was rude, and I hope you NEVER have to see him again!!!!! He is getting paid to treat you- not talk about your personal life.
Ok. So, I'm a lurker, but I feel as if we are kindred spirits. I am totally a spaz as well. In fact my partner has decided this is our only baby because she can't handle my anxiety again. We've had 3 losses, and I have the MTHFR mutation, hypothyroidism, and hypertension, so I tend to agree with her. 'vealso had bleeding, bad screening, amnio... all the fun stuff with this pregnancy. We are now 19 weeks and all seems well, but every single day (even though he moves now) I MUST use the doppler or I can't sleep. I have to know he is alive. And it's hard.
And, I'm also on lovenox, and you'll have to pry the syringe out of my dead hands before I'll stop using it. My OB prescribed it as a precaution because of the clotting, but now that I have my homocysteine levels under control with folgard, it's not technically required. But she doesn't make me stop.
My peri is awesome too. She's not touchy feely, but I LOVE that she looks at the baby every visit. Because clotting and hypertension put us at risk for pre-term labor, growth restriction and all kinds of fun stuff, I need to know we are doing EVERYTHING possible to get him here alive.
I won't go off lovenox until 7 days before a planned induction (early because of clotting stuff.) If they try to take you off it, kick and scream. Prophylactic doses are not dangerous with monitoring. I have tons extra if things get iffy.
Find a new doc. There are good ones out there. And don't let anyone make you feel like a spaz. Anxiety should not mean humiliation, but extra care.
Ugh Ugh UGH. Is there ANY way you can switch to a different high risk doc? Seriously. I wish I could fly you out to see mine.
FWIW, mine also thinks I'm overmedicating, as he falls on the side of MTHFR doesn't require blood thinner, but recognizes that there are people who do think that, and in the end left the decision up to me, as long as my blood levels looked okay (i.e. it wasn't adversely affecting me). Last time I went in, we didn't even talk about it, so he must have been pleased by my bloodwork, I guess.
Just. I wish doctors would remember that's it's a doctor-patient RELATIONSHIP. Not lecture.
And that's before all the awkward homophobic bs. I'm sorry, hon.
I'm so glad to hear that everything is going well with your little one. Please, please, please do not let your doctor's behavior go without submitting a complaint. It makes me so upset to hear medical decisions being influenced by financial/insurance concerns. Do you have a way to go about finding a new high risk doctor? Can you get a second opinion about stopping your anti-clotting med?
I am SO glad you got to see Lil Trucker today. It really sucks you had to go through that jackass to get it done, though. You should look him up on a few of those "rate a doctor" websites and let people know how unprofessional and downright homophobic he was. I looked up several RE's on those sites before choosing mine. I find them very helpful and you may save some poor lesbian from getting the same terrible treatment you received.
YAY on happy kicking baby. Soon your doppler will get there and you can listen any time you want.
NO WAY DOC ! What a COMPLETE ASSHOLE ! Seriously. a bigot and an jackass. I would DEMAND a second opinion and even maybe a third. NEVER EVER SEE THAT MAN AGAIN ! and if I were you, and I'm not, but I hope you do it...I would call and report him for his behavior. seriously.
That doctor is a steaming pile of crap. I truly hope you never, ever, see him again and file a complaint. If you don't feel comfortable stopping your meds, don't. Get another opinion.As far as the scan goes, HOORAY! I am so glad everything looks okay in there :-)
What a relief! And, what an asshat! (your doctor, not you....)
Glad everything is going well! I would, however, issue a complaint against this doc. Completely unprofessional on SO many different levels!
Wait. He said what??? What an effing douche. First, your sexual orientation is in no way, shape, or form any of his business. More importantly, you taking expensive medication – or ANY medication for that matter – that you need to keep your little one healthy is also not his business; at least, he has no right to judge that regarding cost to your insurance. The Hippocratic Oath is about keeping people healthy, not saving insurance companies money.
Please tell me there is another high-risk doc in your area that you can consult with before stopping your injections. I don’t know the first thing about how necessary they are, but I know that I wouldn’t trust this a-hole. I hope you’re able to get a second opinion before stopping them!
Ugh, but besides that nonsense, so glad to hear the scan went well, and that your little one is doing well (and so cute to scratch his/ her little tush!). I’ve been lurking from afar for a long time, and I’m so glad to hear that things are going so well, this idiot of a dr notwithstanding.
So happy everything is going well with the 'lil one!
To echo everyone else... See another high risk doc! That guy is a total douche and file a complaint! If you feel like the injections are helping and your bloods look good, there is no reason you should be made to stop taking them! I am a firm believer that preventative measurements are far better way to go, if nothing else than to save you the anxiety of NOT doing anything.
I am also cursed with having to decide between paying a small fortune for horrible coverage (that I rarely use) or paying a much more reasonable amount for excellent coverage, but being taxed to death by the Fed.eral Govt.
That guy sounds like a real ass. Kudos to you for keeping your cool.
So glad all is well with the little one!
Unbelievable. No one should be treated that way!! So glad peanut is okay and I will go ahead and call you a spaz...see, everything is a-okay!
I would consult a second opinion before changing any med.
I'm so glad that your baby is doing so well! That is awesome news!
I really hope you find another doc. You have dealt with enough, you don't need to add even more to the plate by being made to feel so uncomfortable by that doctor.
A new doc is needed stat. Pooh head doctor. They are supposed to make you feel better, not freak you out!!
Love and hugs
You shouldn't let him get away with talking to you like that. Your sexuality has nothing to do with treatment or at least it shouldn't.
Run don't walk to another doc!
I am a lurker but had to comment on this post. So, Hi! :)
First of all, I am so glad to hear that you did get a quick peek at the baby and that all is well. Great news. :)
And just like most everyone else has said, I would definitely not go back to that doctor. It also seems like you would DEFINITELY have grounds to file a complaint for his bigoted, thoughtless, rude comments. That is beyond shameful, and I think everyone who is a patient of his should be aware that they are seeing a doctor who would say and think things like that.
I have no medical grounds for the following, but I wouldn't stop the blood thinners either. Obviously if they start to adversely affect you or the baby, that's one thing, but if they are giving you peace of mind and possibly helping you not to miscarry, why in the world would he want you to stop? Screw the insurance company. You are right; you pay for everyone else's benefits just as much as they pay for yours.
I hope things continue to go well! :)
OMG! So we have been busy so I'm just catching up... and here goes!
Ok so number #1 get another doctor #2 don't stop any meds until you do #1 and #3 glad to hear all is well with the baby but GET ANOTHER DOCTOR!
#4 Of course you are welcome to ignore me =) but I really am concerned that he would make a medical decision based on cost, and especially if he isn't crazy about the "gay, lesbian" thing. I wouldn't trust him and I would spell that out to him.
Good luck! Keep us posted!
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