I fully admit that I am paranoid. Perhaps I can blame some of it on all the infertility failures, and bad news about my body. Maybe I can blame it on the sudden loss of one of our twins, and the feeling of vulnerability it leaves you with. I'm sure part of it is just me being a total spaz, regardless. :)
3 days, 4 hours until my obstetrix appt. Not that I'm counting, of course. Not that I wake up 10x every night and update my mental timer.
If y'all will indulge me for a moment... can you let me know how you feel/felt at 12 weeks pregnant? Other than my blubbery belly, I feel NOTHING. I realize this is that annoying stage where most of your symptoms go away, and it's too early to feel movement. The next two months will be rough, no doubt, until I feel little kicks. But truthfully, how did you feel at 12 weeks? Did you feel pregnant? Or did you feel like I do - I simply feel pudgy. I have no sensations of anything growing or moving in me.
Penny for your thoughts. :)
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Still holding my breath till Friday
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8 comments:
((hugs)) I'm just over 21weeks and I still have moments when I completely forget that I'm pregnant. My constant icky tummy and vomiting stopped just before 12weeks. The doppler was a real life saver then. Now I can feel LO move, but we will still use the doppler so that C can hear that she's okay.
I hope Friday comes really quickly for you!!!
At 12 weeks? Nothing. What few symptoms I'd had earlier were gone, and I felt a bit dragged down, but it was less than I'd been feeling, so I didn't notice it as much.
Holding my breath along with you.
(FWIW, the fear doesn't really go away. It just shifts. Most recently I said I'd be okay when I could feel movement. Now I can feel movement, but it's light, and not all the time, and so for example today I'm freaking out b/c I haven't felt much if any. Needless to say, we'll be dopplering tonight.)
This may not be helpful, but be happy you are not feeling like crap. At 12 weeks I was miserable (really until 16-17 weeks) with nausea and vomiting. I can't remember when I started to feel the flutters, maybe 16 or 18 weeks? Hang in there...I still wake up wondering if he is alive in there and when he is not moving, it drives my anxiety crazy!
I felt nothing... perfect well rested and no major symptoms.
hugs to you and yours!
I've been following in silence, but I want to say that we were complete nervous wrecks when my partner was pregnant. I don't think we fully relaxed until the baby was in our arms. Then we got a new fear. how to keep him alive, lol. But one thing that helped us, helped us A Whole Lot, was hypnobirthing classes. Most of that was about positive affirmation and calm thinking. When we had a severe car accident when my partner was 8 months pregnant 7 hours away from home, i swear hypnobirthing was why we made it through with a grain of sanity. granted, we didnt have a hard time getting pregnant, which is why I've been so silent on your blog. But another friend of mine went through the same transfusions for killer cells and blood issues you're describing, and she has a great little 5 month old now.
In addition, fetuses look weird. really really weird. that's why they get names like peanut, and bean. They look like these.
we opted out of the nuchal scan and the amnio because we knew it would change nothing in terms of whether or not we'd keep the baby. So we just decided to not know.
i've probably said too much. hope you don;t think I'm annoying. I just wanted to offer where we found comfort in uncertain times.
Did you guys invest in a doppler yet??? I REALLY think that it will help you KNOW that your baby is just fine in there. We got ours on Ebay for around 80 bucks & would not go through another pregnancy w/o it.
I think that it will help put some worries at ease knowing that your baby is alive and well in there.
...where is my penny????? lol
At 12 weeks I felt like crap! I was throwing up almost everyday until 22 weeks! As for the paranoia, welcome to motherhood! I got pregnant on try #1, with twins, and I worried everyday that I may lose one or both of them. Why?? Who knows... As Sarah said, once they were born it was a daily worry of making sure they lived to see the next day, and not just because they were preemies, but because they were my babies. The first thing you learn when you become a mother is how much more you have to lose. Don't feel like a crazy person, it happens to the best of us!
Hoping Friday brings you enough good news to get your through to the next milestone you will worry about. ;)
I second the doppler comment. It saved my sanity many nights.
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