Baby A is ok. We were really expecting the worst. My stomach is getting flatter, my symptoms are gone, and I just didn't feel any essence of "life" in my belly. I was trying so hard to stay positive, though, you have no idea.
The ultrasound technician first tried an abdominal scan. She pushed in hard, and we saw two tiny sacs, and both babies looked small and quiet in each one. We feared the worst. She moved to a vaginal scan, to see better. Baby A was wiggling around, waving at us! I didn't believe it.
Heartbeat is 154 (down from 173 10 days ago, but doc says it's all normal). Growth measured 10w1d. We were beside ourselves, and gave each other a giant hug. Still, though. Utter disbelief.
Baby B hasn't shrunk at all, bummer. The doc said that sometime in the next 10 weeks, I may experience horrible cramping and very heavy bleeding. In fact, I may pass the fetal tissue. Scary!!! My IVF doc said I wouldn't have any cramping or bleeding! The doc today said it's possible, but unlikely, that my body will push baby A out, too. Let's hope that doesn't happen.
I asked the doctor what he thought about Baby B's passing. He said it is very unusual to lose a baby once a heartbeat is established. He said it could be chromosomal, but it likely could have been a blood clot. My damn MTHFR and antiphospholipid antibodies both cause clotting. Doc said to stay on baby aspirin and blood thinners to reduce the risk of losing Baby A. Some sites say, even with treatment, there's still a 25%-45% chance of losing a pregnancy at any stage. WTF. This doc seemed to give me a 25% chance of losing Baby A. I suppose those odds are better than 45%. Still, though, wow.
I wish I could fast forward through pregnancy. Physically it's been super easy. Mentally, it's going to be a rocky road. The doc even warned us of that. I have a lot of issues going on with my body, so I just want to have the baby in my arms versus always wondering if s/he is still alive.
For today at least, Baby A is thriving and we are so grateful. :)
Monday, September 21, 2009
Still exhaling...
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22 comments:
Wow! What a roller coaster! I'm so glad that Baby A is doing well (and waving) in there! They always say to just take it one day at a time and you'll get through it. I'll be following along with you.
I am so happy and exhaling with you! Try to
continue to stay positive and hang in there..
Woot! Way to go, baby A!
Look at that beautiful little baby!! S/he is adorable!
i am shocked and amazed that your ears havent fallen off from the stress. im in awe. like the news kids said, you are totally hangin tough.
It's funny, what schools of believe doctors go by. My doctor also said it is VERY unlikely to lose a baby after seeing the hb, he still thinks it's chromosomal for us, even with my clotting issues.
Regardless, I'm SO glad that everything looks okay with baby A, post-loss scans can be so very stressful. Much love.
I am so glad that Baby A is thriving and doing well!
I'm sorry that you may never truly know what happened to Baby B, but I am so relieved for you that Baby A is doing well and moving all around. I have been waiting for this good news all days. Exhaling right along with you...
I've been blogstalking all day & got SO nervous when there wasn't an update. When I came in here to check again, I got stagefright and stalled for 15min checking on various other things before finally clicking on your link. I hadn't even known I was holding my breath until I saw the u/s pic and it whooshed out of me. I am SO glad to see you still have a thriving family of 3. I swear I could cry right now. OK, Ill stop rambling before you think I'm a nut who may actually stalk you in ernest.
That is great news! I'm very happy that Baby A is doing well. Take it one day at a time...
wonderful news, we thought of you all weekend. so great! :-)
I'm so glad to hear Baby A is thriving. I hope time speeds up a bit for you so that you can find some solace in Baby A's movements. For now, hang in there. It's going to get easier soon.
congrats on the good appointment - what a beautiful u/s pic!! :)
That is absolutely wonderful news!!
Go, baby A!
I just read your entire blog from beginning to now....I am so happy for you!! I will be praying for you and your little family! Try to think positive and just take it one day at a time, that is all you can do!
Hooray! That's sooooo awesome! Just try to breathe! You're doing Awesome!
That is great news and a wonderful picture!!! Hang in there!!!
great photo of your little one! nothing like that wiggling of life and i'm so glad you two got to share that joy. sending lots of good karma to you as you continue this journey!
Thank goodness Carrie!!!! This is so similar to what happened to us. At our first appointment after loosing Hayden, surviving Isadora was jumping up and down and waving at us. It was so reassuring.
As far as your lost twin, everybody's body deals with it differently. We lost Hayden just before 10 weeks after seeing the heartbeat numerous times. I didn't have any cramping or spotting until 15 weeks. That's when I had bright red bleeding (no cramps though) for a day. The OB thinks the bleeding was due to the lost twin. I had my Level II scan yesterday at 19 weeks and we could still see the collapsed sac of our lost Hayden.
Since your loss was before 10 weeks, I'm guessing your body will mostly absorb your angel twin.
I'm always here if you need to talk. BTW, I also post on FF where there is a special message board for people who have dealt with vanishing twin syndrome. You are welcome to join us.
All my best,
Jackie
Good news Carrie. :) What a great picture that is too, so clear! Continue to hang in there and be strong for baby A. xox
That positivity about baby A is great! What a great picture. Hang in there!
awwwww....so sweet!!!
I'm sorry s/he gave you a scare!! But very proud of him/her for waving hi...a little trouble maker already!!
xxoo
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